What My Mom Should Have Taught and Told me?
Written by Mrs. Money
(Continuation from December 2009)
Flirting
It is a doorbell to give an opponent a notice that someone is coming!
My mom never taught me how to flirt an opposite sex; I think most probably she didn’t know how to do it so we all inherited from her!
In young days when my classmates flirting with each others in class, I thought they were just talking to each others nicely, got lots of common subjects and so lots of talks went on. These days I am old enough to learn those kinds of conversations amongst opposite sex is called “flirting”.
I was told by someone that my younger sister got a boy went after her during their secondary school years, but my younger sister would act cold and cool. I really believe our gene, we were both living in platonic world and we still didn’t know what the opposite sex creature is used for!
Recent morning after I woke up, all a sudden my brain matured a bit growing aware of my “stupidity and immaturity” even I was already by then 24 years old, I recalled there it was happened during my prettiest young days. My good friend kept asking me, “Hi, those men are kept looking here at you, are you their friends?”
“NO” I didn’t even look at those men, because I thought in a strange city I wouldn’t be able to meet somebody from Malaysia.
Then when I was on my way to the restroom, as I had to walk pass the tables those men sat, someone there worst still even tried to grasp me, again my good friend saw it from behind, “Are you sure you don’t know them? One of them tried to stop you!”
“NO” Again that’s my reply.
Rewinding my memory, I was invited by my friends to the most expensive and high class restaurant of a city, even in my merely a slight glance of such group of men, now I could tell they were either successful or rich or could be both. So may be those old days when I studied in branded academy, everyday I already tangoed with those rich and famous so those men was not a big deal to me.
I was rude in another sense even if I didn’t know how to flirt; at least I should response to those continuous glances from nearby table by returning them “a wave” or “a smile” instead just chose to ignore them.
So imagine if I knew how to give a successful flirt may be today I won’t be a no money tai tai but could be a Tan Seri diamond tai tai or a Datin ruby tai tai! So you can tell how regretful I am! Blame myself or my mom or both? So I am writing this article to teach girls how to “flirt successfully” and after you have “successfully flirted” a man, please don’t forget to send me an invitation card later to your wedding!
Girls need to know how to flirt appropriately and skillfully to give men a door to access and develop into another kind of romantic relationship. Flirting is a doorbell to give an opponent a notice that someone is coming; it is up to her or him willing to open the door to gain access to each other hearts.
Unreported Sexual Harassment and Rape Cases
Due to innocent or no face?
My sister was riding on a bus when she was in form six, one day a man tried to touch her hair from behind, she was panic and she never told anyone until she became a mom. So I asked her, “Anyone sat beside you when the thing happened?”
“Yes, my female classmate sat besides me.”
“She knew it?”
“No. I didn’t dare to tell her.”
When I was young, there was a librarian in my hometown library, I didn’t like to go to library was caused by him. He always liked to go touching little primary school girls’ buttock. He would choose to go after a single young girl in a secluded zone, he would either pretend to get closer and accidentally knock on you or he would give you a “colour wolf paw” on your bump. All young primary school girls in my generation knew there was such an librarian, but nobody reported him, and he was peacefully touching most primary school girls’ asses or pretended fallen accidentally next to girls’ buttocks.
So few years ago, I asked my sister who always hanged out in the library after her school, I asked her if ever such librarian went touching her, she told me that she did aware of such colorwolf, “So do you think we should do something?” I asked her.
“Well, leave him alone, he is an old man now!”
"Yeah! Too old to give him a threat of chopping his arms if he touches a young girl's ass again... probably he has retired!"
Well at least this little colorwolf in my hometown library just loved to touch young girls’ asses instead of raping them!
Old days mothers never taught their daughters to report anything unpleasant happened to them in their daily routine, mothers and daughters hardly talk due to their tough life and simple minds. Everything was peaceful due to everything happened if could tolerate, everyone learned to keep secrets in closets!
I suspected in old days in my hometown there was a rapist existed and he would commit crimes in villages, but cases were never reported. I heard that there was a student who was very good in her academy, but all a sudden her school result dropped badly. I knew those old days, students from most villages had to cycle like at least 30 minutes to reach a ferry to bring them across the river to ride into their respective secondary schools. Old days sad stories were never revealed but those victims’ life prevailed in a very obvious way, the girl that I suspected was a victim, she never got married even in a very old age. These stereo type conservative victims thought that if they were not “perfect girls” anymore, they would choose to get married to someone of our Chinese’s thought of as inferior races and professions. After they got married off, by then most of their ex-classmates wouldn’t be able to trace where they were.
These were the sad unrevealed stories happened to old days in my old hometown but everyone thought that it was a peaceful town all because such bad things never happened to them! I hope modern moms are smarter, braver and more responsible citizens, who would report rape and sexual harassment cases to police instead of just caring of their own faces and convenient.
Be a Responsible Citizen
But complications of police reporting drew victims off!
Be alert! I always told young girls, “You thought you are pretty because of some men looking at you outside your house or office when you returned home or reaching office? If you don’t look back at those men carefully and observe what they are doing or in alert to decide if you should enter your house or office, you never know the next minutes those men could turn into robbers, rapists or thieves!”
I saw a group of men gathered in a bush at the back of my house under the rain this morning. What were they doing? Fishing in a no river bush or showering under the early morning rain inside a bush? So I called my good neighbor to discuss the situation. An hour later a police patrol car came.
Also this morning, on my way sending my son to school, I saw a conman that conned me few years ago in an oil town, he was jogging under the rain with his sunglass on with very smart sport wear and cap on. An hour later people might think that he was a successful businessman if he started to wag his rogue tongue! Few years ago, I gave him a few fists and a lecture but Sin Chew Daily Newspaper reporter instead of cautioning people to beware of such conman, the reporter was trying to tell reader, “XX Teacher gave foul words” as a header to defame, humiliate and insult me!
Anyhow, the conman returned to his hometown Kuching, as he didn’t dare to dwell in the oil town due to my warning, “If I ever see you conning in this town again, I will go after you!” After the incident, so many of my friends warned me, “You …. Be careful, how dare you so brave to beat the conman up, you not scare ah huh!”
“Hi chickens! If the authority let me gave him a few fists which mean I got some weight or who knows may be I got a strong backup?! Simple theory is: No man has a face to report to anyone if being beat up by a girl! The authority is so smart!”
4 months ago after I sent off my son to school, on my returning trip, I discovered this conman's trace who was riding and passing by my cat city neighbourhood, he was wearing like a successful businessman, he wore a sunglass early in the morning but rode a bicycle which didn't fit his smart attire.
Old days mothers never taught their daughters to report anything unpleasant happened to them in their daily routine, mothers and daughters hardly talk due to their tough life and simple minds. Everything was peaceful due to everything happened if could tolerate, everyone learned to keep secrets in closets!
I suspected in old days in my hometown there was a rapist existed and he would commit crimes in villages, but cases were never reported. I heard that there was a student who was very good in her academy, but all a sudden her school result dropped badly. I knew those old days, students from most villages had to cycle like at least 30 minutes to reach a ferry to bring them across the river to ride into their respective secondary schools. Old days sad stories were never revealed but those victims’ life prevailed in a very obvious way, the girl that I suspected was a victim, she never got married even in a very old age. These stereo type conservative victims thought that if they were not “perfect girls” anymore, they would choose to get married to someone of our Chinese’s thought of as inferior races and professions. After they got married off, by then most of their ex-classmates wouldn’t be able to trace where they were.
These were the sad unrevealed stories happened to old days in my old hometown but everyone thought that it was a peaceful town all because such bad things never happened to them! I hope modern moms are smarter, braver and more responsible citizens, who would report rape and sexual harassment cases to police instead of just caring of their own faces and convenient.
Be a Responsible Citizen
But complications of police reporting drew victims off!
Be alert! I always told young girls, “You thought you are pretty because of some men looking at you outside your house or office when you returned home or reaching office? If you don’t look back at those men carefully and observe what they are doing or in alert to decide if you should enter your house or office, you never know the next minutes those men could turn into robbers, rapists or thieves!”
I saw a group of men gathered in a bush at the back of my house under the rain this morning. What were they doing? Fishing in a no river bush or showering under the early morning rain inside a bush? So I called my good neighbor to discuss the situation. An hour later a police patrol car came.
Also this morning, on my way sending my son to school, I saw a conman that conned me few years ago in an oil town, he was jogging under the rain with his sunglass on with very smart sport wear and cap on. An hour later people might think that he was a successful businessman if he started to wag his rogue tongue! Few years ago, I gave him a few fists and a lecture but Sin Chew Daily Newspaper reporter instead of cautioning people to beware of such conman, the reporter was trying to tell reader, “XX Teacher gave foul words” as a header to defame, humiliate and insult me!
Anyhow, the conman returned to his hometown Kuching, as he didn’t dare to dwell in the oil town due to my warning, “If I ever see you conning in this town again, I will go after you!” After the incident, so many of my friends warned me, “You …. Be careful, how dare you so brave to beat the conman up, you not scare ah huh!”
“Hi chickens! If the authority let me gave him a few fists which mean I got some weight or who knows may be I got a strong backup?! Simple theory is: No man has a face to report to anyone if being beat up by a girl! The authority is so smart!”
4 months ago after I sent off my son to school, on my returning trip, I discovered this conman's trace who was riding and passing by my cat city neighbourhood, he was wearing like a successful businessman, he wore a sunglass early in the morning but rode a bicycle which didn't fit his smart attire.
This conman is obviously nesting somewhere in Stutong area, that’s why I was able to catch he wore sunglass both under the rain or without bright sunshine, anyhow obviously he had been successfully acted and disguised as a successful contractor or a contractor's son called himself as Peter perhaps to con money from Kuching folks for at least few years already! I did report the trace of this conman to my DSP friend but he got posted to an island.
A year ago I show a victim of Jalan Ellis this conman’s photo, she recognized the conman who actually tried to con and stole money from her office, but the case was never launched due to there were so many complicated procedures in filing and reporting to police.
I heard the conman was conning all over Kuching, from Jalan Ellis to Jalan Song, today obviously he tried jogging his way down the road to Tabuan Laru and Stutong market area. The smartness of this conman is he would only steal RM200 or con RM200 or less, so if you have 100 durians on a tree, if being stole a durian by a squirrel, you let such squirrel ran free!
Cat city folks, he is still roaming free, and I saw him at least 10 times already riding his bicycle early in the morning emerged from the back of Stutong kampong and today he jogged under the rain towards Kuching Specialist Center, who knows he would act as a retire doctor and told people so and so surgeons are his good friends, and many people would believe and got impressed by him because of his eloquence con tongue. I wonder who would be the unlucky one lost RM200 today!
To be continued
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