A LEVEL HIGHER THAN BASTARD-DADDY’S STANDARD!

After I chatted with a chauvinist Chinaman for less than an hour,

my hair all raised almost like a Persian meow who met a monster!

Written by Miss Yellow

Recently I met a young man, who completed his study from a meow city private Chinese secondary school and got married young (before 30); after I chatted with him for less than an hour, my hair all raised almost like a Persian meow who met a monster! I only realized Chinese schools not only produced some of the best math students but also some of the most up-to-date hopeless chauvinist youngest version Chinamen!

How to define Chinaman? Here are some of my definitions!

When the house was dirty, that’s a job for a woman, it's a wife’s duty. If the baby was crying, that's a job for a woman, it’s a wife’s duty. His wife had to clean and tidy the house and at the same time taking care of the baby or toddler, while the man alone sat in front of the TV enjoying his favorite show (Please note that his wife should not use the vacuum cleaner, because her husband didn't like to get disturbed). Soon the baby/toddler was crying, he called his wife loudly from a distance, “Hey! I don’t think you know how to take care of a kid! Do you know I am watching the TV?!’

He would never help his young wife, his altitude was he paid for the household expenses, why should he do a woman’s chores? He thought that unless his wife paid him like what he paid for the family expenses, then he would do the job!

There were some angry career-wives would think angrily when they saw their chauvinist-husband sitting down and rest on the chair.

Look, I go out and work too, now I just got back from work, I am tired and hungry, and the house is dirty and I have to take care of baby/toddler at the same time when I prepare dinner, how much I wish my husband can give me a hand!

If the wife didn’t have enough time to clean the house, soon the monster-in-law stepped in the living room with a house key given by her precious son, she took a look at her son who sat on the sofa watching TV, she felt relieved that her son was not bossed around by his wife, the monster-in-law soon exercised her authority, “My goodness sake, why the house is so dirty? What are you doing?’ she questioned her daughter-in-law while she was cooking dinner for everyone, luckily soon the monster-in-law kind enough to play with the little baby/toddler lest it from crying.

   Soon, the sky got darker, there was a calling from the kitchen, ‘Do you mind help me to bring in the dried clothes hanging out?’ The husband pretended he couldn’t hear his wife. Hmm… why I have to do that for you? Unless you pay me, I am the bread provider for this household not you, how much money you can earn? Even you are much more educated than me, yet you can’t earn more money than me.

   While the woman didn’t get response from her hubby, she quickly went out the backdoor to collect her sun-dried clothes with pop corn rain started to fall. Shit! I regretted to get married, if I didn’t get married, because of having maternity leave I ended quitting my good job, I couldn’t find a higher salary job as I couldn’t stay in a job long enough to get promoted.

   Finally, the tired wife showed her black face on the dining table, the man took a look of his wife without much emotion. Shit, you lucky bitch, if you were my mom, you would be beaten up by my dad! Hmmm….. but I am a level higher than my bastard-dad who used to so often beat up my poor mother, I am a good husband because I won’t beat up my wife even if she gives me a black face like now!

DON’T MESS WITH MY MOM!

My mom is always kind to people, but that becomes her weakness; can you believe that recently someone abused mommy’s created essence as just a cordial drink?!

Nagged by I-Phone’s Mommy

I hate most of my school mates, they always called me names; besides often called me as pig; the most popular one must be I-Phone because it really sounds like my real name.

   My mom told me she never realized that 7 years ago when she gave me this name that would later on sound so similar to the most popular I-Phone. She told me, ‘Don’t get angry, in this case everyone will remember and know your name!’ Don’t you think she just tried to find an excuse to get out of this situation?

  


My mom said she didn’t want to do bad things and treat people bad, she said even a dozen ghosts come to knock at her door at midnight she won’t get panic. She said most people when returning from graveyard would cleanse themselves with pomegranate leaves, they would never ever bring their young children to ICU visiting sick relative or friend and to pay last respect to any deceased relative or friends, but my mom is so unconventional, she took us to see our sick maternal grandpa’s best friend in ICU and when he passed away last Sunday she would also take us to see him inside the coffin, mommy would dress up white and dressed us up yellow, she said because grandpa best friend if alive would always treat me and my brother kind and nice like one of his grandkids too, she told me when a Foo Chow grandpa passed away, customary his grandkids would dress up yellow.

   Mommy grumbled in disagree when her friends told her all those old feudal customary practices of not simply bringing kids to graveyard, ICU or funeral, she got her convincing reasons, ‘What’s the different between now and the future IF one of the later days you become a doctor, by the way you have to see very sick and dead people, and you will be spending most of your time in the hospital! All those hospital workers and doctors must be careful … baby, teenager or old ghosts may follow them home, they have to cleanse their bodies with pomegranate leaves everyday then!’

 

Mommy was quite mad in recent months due to her kindness extended to help somebody was mistreated and abused, she told me she is long from a decent, religious, cultivated and educated family, she said thus all her true friends are the most kind and nicest people alive on earth too, we are all not manipulative, unreasonable, scheming or selfish, but she said sometimes being too kind can be a weakness too, she said not everyone on this earth think and behave the same like us, bad blood running in their veins, they are full of greedy, jealous, dominating and aggressive.

   Mommy told me bad blood could be passing amongst family members, she warns me that I have to open my eyes big and wide to choose a future husband, she said obviously when some bad bloods dominated the veins, kids won’t listen to mother’s words, she said for an example, her paternal grandma taught her since her young days to get up first thing in the morning: Wash and dress up decently before walk out of the bedroom. Mommy said she has been kept teaching us since my brother and I were babies, she said our babysitters would train us up in her mandated ways, we were always smartly dressed up since early morning, but she said bad blood running in the veins would never surrender especially when ones have own minds and wills, all her efforts would return to zero. Ooops …. Didn’t she mean that we have some bad bloods running in my brother and my veins as well? Because she always got so mad that my brother and I still in pajamas at I3:00 o’clock! The bad blood must be not from her then because she would always shower, dress up and put make-up nicely first thing in the morning before she walked out of the bedroom …. no matter she was sick or having holiday!

 

Mommy lectured me, she told me when I grow up, I have to watch out for the lurking bad women who will treat another woman as a secret enemy which is unbeknownst to the innocent kind-hearted woman, her reason is kind-hearted women are like lambs who didn’t see wolves as a threat unless gotten bite once.

   ‘In real life, this kind of women only befriended and could live peacefully with men, when they befriended with a lady, at first she would be so friendly as she wanted information and infiltration.’ Mommy said, ‘ …. these malicious witchy women actually wanted something that they wanted badly from that lady. Usually they are craving for something that they don’t have or possess but they see that abundantly on their individual targeted prey, they thought they deserved that instead of seeing that on the targeted prey, usually these predator kind of women think highly of themselves, they are usually smooth talking, good in angkat bola ..’

   ‘What is angkat bola’ I asked mommy, mommy said it means flattering people in overdone ways. Mommy told me, ‘ …… after this predator kind of women have destroyed their respective preys by either destroying a woman’s happy marriage, a professional’s very reputed career or cause a rich woman becomes penniless, these wicked bad blooded women actually never would feel guilty, ashamed of themselves, they would think that they have just won another a trophy from another competitor like after a badminton game!’

   Mommy said, ‘….. usually this predator kind of women were once famous sportswomen during their school days, but sad enough they take the sportsmanship manner into their future lives and expected the loser, the first wife to shake hand congratulate her as a winner to make peace with her, expected the loser, a jobless professor badly defamed to congratulate her that she is doing very well in her most recent winning fames or expected the loser, penniless to congratulate her that now she finally has become a millionaire!’

 

Mommy gave me three good examples, she said the first case happened to her best friend’s friend who lost a husband to a scorpion-hearted ex-sportswoman, she said this woman was a very fervent Christian, yet she stole someone’s husband right in a church’s fellowship group and let the first wife lived in such a misery life, mommy told me later this predator begat many kids with the robbed target from her prey.

   ‘This kind of woman won’t feel guilty and unaware of what she did has hurt another woman, instead she still attend church services, she would pray to Jesus to forgive her, to lead her a way, then she would feel guiltless, not feeling ashamed at all of what she did, soon she would walk proud and tall on the street with her kids, she won’t care of other people’s condemning glances!’

   Mommy said such scorpion has another younger sister who was also a very good sportswoman, mommy told me since the scorpion younger sister has a good husband, mommy said daddy is poor and short, he wouldn’t be a worth target, she just wanted something that she herself wanted badly yet she could never have on herself, but there is a future hope on her talented daughter, mommy told me usually this kind of predator kind of women are all unusually talented and smart, but their shortcuts are being selfish, thoughtless and unethical, they usually used religion as a tool to comfort and find excuses themselves, instead of respecting and abiding religious doctrines and good teaching, for an example, when she wanted something from mother, she was so good in flattering mommy, actually mommy told me she was just being kind and helpful, as in 10 years ago, she had heard of such scorpion’s younger sister trying to defame her career reputation, but mommy was giving her a second chance, but mommy told me the scorpion’s younger sister began to scheme her malicious planning to destroy her reputation after first time mommy imparted her profession skills to her and her daughter, soon she would set trap for mommy to fall into it by showing her unwillingness in cooperating with mommy, mommy said, ‘When they engage male professionals, they would show their full cooperation, but with me they showed that they were the most uncooperative clients in my 30 years career!’ For months mommy never heard from them, suddenly one day they wanted mommy’s attention, mommy told me that winning trophy immediately made her felt like a loser, and they expected mommy to give them praising after didn’t hear from them for ages. That sounded to me more like, ‘Look under you, my daughter fails her exam, now look under other teachers, she wins competition after competition!’ That’s quite unfair to mommy; I remember mommy spent so many sleepless nights when they didn’t want to cooperate with mommy!

   You know what, I think in the surface they didn’t want to offense mommy yet, they would still tell people how much mother had helped them, and they would tell mommy how many clients they tried to introduce to mommy, but none of them ever calls mommy! Mother sighed, ‘Isn’t that ridiculous? Remember don’t get happy too quick when people flatter you, actually at first they flatter you, the next minute they wanted something from you, and after what they acquired from you, only they left the house, you then found your house was on fire!’ Mommy told me how people’s cooperation, good intentions and actions counted, but not by their smooth empty talking, sweet smiles and misused Jesus’s name!

   I think these people all thought that they have been very smart, they thought mommy didn’t know what they did and manipulated behind mommy’s reputation, mommy told me this was not the first time people tried to destroy or defame her professional career, good reputation and good image, she said she is fair, even she got many kind warning of how notorious the client was, but she tried to give people chances when she thought she could help them greatly, but she is never an idiot.

   Don’t they know that my mommy is a versatile person and a treasured information resourcer and career guidance for youngsters’ higher studies? But I think they better think twice if they want to use mommy again, whatever mommy taught them, they just took what they wanted for their own benefits and took that for granted of mommy’s created essence as just a cordial drink! They didn’t care what they did already sadden mommy since May, I hope they better don’t come and mess with my mom anymore! I suspect mommy is also a guns’ expert, as she has many weapons and ammunitions’ books that I found on shelves, they should be glad that this is not USA but just a meow city!

 

Mommy said she had paid for her 30 years career experience to learn a lesson from this scorpion’s younger sister , she said, ‘Never mine, I just hope that you become a wiser than me from all my past mistakes in life when you grow older.’

   And mommy told me if one day she becomes rich she will act like a beggar! She said if an overturned dead fish could become alive, that’s her second life, she ain’t going to let any of those wicked women destroy her peacefulness once more. I asked her why, she told me there is another kind of friend who can detect your potential like a radar before you get rich, so if you really get rich, that’s the time they will ask you to buy this and that properties and shares, soon you may end up in a conman set-up scheme and you will lose all your money with even bad debts.

   Mommy said, ‘We shouldn’t act so bossy, arrogant, too highly self-pride, show off ..’ Hmmm… that’s why she didn’t want me give speech or sing on the stage, she didn’t let me learn piano, she didn’t let me learn dancing. ‘… too aggressive in a bad way to hurt people, we should be aggressive towards our own devil within, when our inner devil said watch TV, let’s play computer, it’s the time we should show our aggressiveness by saying no to our inner desire and urge to make us doing something useless, acting being idle, indulge in good life and acting lazy.’

   Lastly mother told me, ‘If you think good, act good and vision good, you develop a good and beautiful aura for yourself, but sometimes that will attract the oppose, so beware when someone’s greed for what you have but not in them, they may come to steal, destroy, cheat or rob from you, being good is not good enough, you have to know or may have to learn some painful lessons of all those evils’ plots and tricks, so you won’t let those evils having any chance to set a trap on you!’

My Childhood in Kuching IV

Mommy said training a little boy is just like training a little puppy!

Nagged by Little Money’s Mommy

This morning when we came out of our neighborhood on the way to school, mommy began to nag in the car as usual.

  

   She said, ‘Look at those short legged “panda” dogs on the street, everyone told me these dogs are annoying and ugly as it they owe our neighborhood street.’

  

My sister began to ask, ‘Mom, why they are on the street? Do they have home to return?

   ‘Sure! Well .... this is how when these dogs’ owners never chain them since young but let them ran free on the street when they went out to work, and these dogs eventually learned only to return home when they got hungry, and .... they also get so used to roam and kiss each others on street. I am quite sure these big dogs will yelp and annoy the whole neighborhood if we catch them now and chain in the house!’

   ‘Mom, why?’

   ‘Same like someone looking like you but already getting too old to change, since he was young whenever his parents went to work, he would be left on the neighborhood playing and growing up with the rest of the neighborhood kids, probably with street dogs too, thus they all behave like dogs exactly, home for all of them to return only when they are sick, tired and hungry. So imagine if mommy keeps someone like you, the older version … in the house for 24 hours, what will happen?’

   ‘He will also “yelp” and will climb ceiling!’ My 7 years old sister joked.

Mom was very happy of such reply, she continued nagging, ‘That’s why every kind of training have to start since young days, to train a little boy is just like training a little puppy. If a mother keeps her son at home adequately, he will grow up a good homely man, he will enjoy staying in the house taking care of his family, tending the garden and doing household works.'

   'Just like your grandpa’s dog Pei Pei, he was trained to stay in the cage since young, and he would go out of the house to pee and poo when necessary, he grows up now as a watch dog for the house, even if the gate let widely opened it would go out just for a while only, it know its duties, get accustom to those imposed rules since young puppy days.’

   'I wish you will grow up like good old Pei Pei instead like your dad!' Mom finally honestly revealed what was really on her mind. Oh mom, you really compare me to a dog? ... And you think a dog can behave better than a big human being  .... someone looking like me but an older version?!

HOW TO COOK ROSELLE LEAVES?

Cook it the Burmese way!

Written by Miss Yellow

Thanks to Foo Chow-Burmese English professor in Swinburne Kuching who taught me how to prepare this dish. Roselle leaf is a bit sour, can use it to prepare soup as well.

1. Pick Roselle leaves and stem them

2. Fry onion, garlic, chili, fish belacan with oil until brownish

3. Add fresh prawn and stemed Roselle leaves, fry them.

Serve it with rice, really yummy!

My Childhood in Kuching III

Mommy said the four fundamental forces will be fully functioned in hyperspace; she said I will be fully functioned if I end up in a right place too!



Nagged by Little Money’s Mommy

Mommy nagged that we merely get stuck like long neglected, starving and unloved poor caged pets in Kuching due to my Chinaman daddy’s “great” idea of family reunion, which she regretted of being too trustful, naive and obedient as a stereo-type good demure Chinese wife but resulted in “surrendering herself directly to a jail” on both her professional career and very interesting past life. Let me tell you something that you may not know: During those good old baby to toddler days, I was always entertained by many pretty girls, not like these days in my school, all those girls ran away from me, they would scream, 'Yu..ck! Grasshoppers!' when they saw me approaching them.

   Since last year, daddy’s new subcontracted project caused him absented from home 28 out of 30 days, mommy sadly told me how bad fate begins to increasingly shower upon her after she got married but especially after she moves to this strange new meow city, she said ridiculous enough her marriage could make everyone in the family happy, and also my EEs (aunties) could tell her the best thing she ever done was to beget me and my sister, mommy said even up to these days she still never could fathom “Chinawomen’s silly mentality”!

   ‘ ….. If a man can bring back sufficient cash money to his helpless jobless wife if he is always not around in town, at least she can managed the family alone easier.’ Mommy lamented she neither has enough money to spend nor physically presented husband; she said what she has is just a 4th dimensional husband. I think I know what she said; she also hinted that I have a 4th dimensional daddy too!

After we moved to Kuching since four years ago, this morning mommy finally decided we don’t belong to this city, ‘ ….. Neither this city belongs to us’, she gave a cold chuckle before continued, ‘we persevere here may be just because we all adore this city named as Kuching, (Cat in Malay) as cat is our favorite animal!’ Mommy said 4 fundamental forces will be fully functioned in hyperspace, she said I will be fully functioned if I end up in a right place!

   Since the day she stepped in here, odd enough this meow city doesn’t bring my mom any good luck, fame or money. She said if we end up in a new city without any backup, without much money in our pocket, we will be very lonely, as nobody will want to befriend with us when we are not able to give anyone any benefit. She said people will feel proud to befriend with doctors and Datuks, as those titles also initialed in many snobbish peoples’ minds as “can be helpful!”

   Mommy said during her most desperate time here in meow city, she tried to approach a youth director to propose a program to help Sarawakiens in raising standard of a certain rare skill, but she was advised by the youth director to help orphans instead. Mommy said that’s exactly like the four fundamental forces being under used on earth; otherwise these forces would be powerful like “tiger, dragon, phoenix and serpent” in hyperspace.

   Mommy said that’s the altitude of a lot of less cultivated people where they always want to push another person down to drain, but they will think they are the only best and the most eminent, she said as an innate educator she tried to foster every potential person but most of the time uncooperative parents and authorities were the hindrance for her to foster talents so she is thinking to give up completely now, she wonders if the youth director can also condescend himself to work part time as a youth director to give counseling to children, mommy said he was also embarrassing her indirectly in front of all her friends that accompanied her.

   Mom then warned me whenever a big corporation CEO, MD or someone in a high authority position that I due to meet, ' …. Don’t bring anybody, just a lawyer who is experienced and encountered enough insults, humiliations and accusation cases, he won’t look at you oddly if any proposal and discussion ends up not successful.’

   ‘Why?’ I asked

   Mommy said about 10 years ago she also encountered a similar situation, she was invited for a brain storming meeting invited by a crustacean corporation Datuk MD and his executive officers, a whole group of mommy’s friends accompanied her as they all shared the same interest on an activity of what mommy was organizing, but mommy said it turned up not a brain storming session, instead she was insulted and questioned directly of her inability in registering a pro tem committee to become a charitable organization in a short period of time.

   It was due to one of their own aggressive young crustacean geologist employee fed them wrong information, in actual facts, this crustacean geologist wanted to kick mommy out of the activity, so he could take over her job temporary just for his good friend’s benefit, as his good friend was interested in such activity’s future $$$ earning opportunity.

   Mommy mentioned that yet the crustacean corporation had never extended any monetary help other then condemning and suspicious of her abilities. She told me those oil business executives just know how to bark loudly on her yet never gave her a hand to expedite anything, as it was not the time yet they could use this pro tem organization as a tool to promote their community outreach service plan. She said after the meeting, her supporters used a different kind of pathetic and sympathized glances at her, she said that made her felt very uneasy, insulted and humiliated.

   She said she spent a lot of money from her own pocket to help sponsoring the pro tem activities and tolerated everything just because she did it for that oil city sake! Someone even told her that an ex-YB even mentioned that she was using the activities to promote her own business, she got so angry even up to these days, she told me, ‘When you did something good, DON’T ever expect a good return!’

   She said that’s real life, so far she experienced decades with this kind of inhuman treatment, she said same thing happens to her marriage life as well. She said if she thought a negative way, she would think she was born in this world to be used for a purpose by somebody and would be discarded just like any of the obsolete electronic appliances.

Mom said besides her career may be gone forever (I think due to mommy encountered many unfaithful disciples! When they wanted to use mommy, I heard with my own ears that how they flattered mommy, including how pretty she was even she was so fat! But the minute they turned their backs, they actually never trusted and cooperated with mommy, when they found another big trunk to hug, they soon forget mommy, they began to defame her and acted like mommy’s rival!) , she also felt very sad, frustrated and disappointed at my sister and I, as we both do terribly in studies at local Chinese primary school, but can you believe it …… that seemingly pleased my Chinaman dad as long as my sister and I can speak and write Mandarin even I scored the lowest mark in all four classes.

   Mommy said that in this case I should be glad that her thought was ahead of anyone including overrode daddy's stereo-type Chinaman family plan, mommy as usual with her big tummy went alone to overseas for our better future sake, thus my sister and I both were not born in Malaysia, here she said as a Chinese I never have any opportunity to become a prime minister. Can you believe what mommy said …. She said when she begot me in a country where more lazy youngsters live, then later days I may have a higher chance to become successful!

   She said “someone looks like me” thought too optimistic, if he can’t do well in a small country like Malaysia, he shouldn’t expect his children will do well in China. Mommy said one of the later day if my sister and I end in mainland China, she said China got so many geniuses, mediocre people like my sister and I will just end up as nobodies there.

   She said don’t expect luck falls on us, she said waiting for the luck falls on her and us is better then, to wait for another big bang to occur.

This early morning mommy got up early hissing and cursing a Datuk, because dad can’t afford to buy us even cheapest Air Asia tickets to go for any local trip during Hari Raya, mommy hissed angrily that she is “god damn tired of the ducking monotonous family routine life, for the god damn past ducking boring years!” I heard that big shot’s surname sounded the same with a famous Malaysian canned foods manufacturer or same sound of the Mandarin goat’s name, mommy said only certain kind of engineer has to work and monitor his workers under the hot sun by himself, then she told me never to become a third class engineer. Wasn’t that she hint me that my dad is a kind of rejected third class engineer?

   She then continued with her personal opinion, “Third class engineer working as a subcontractor, second class engineer works as a consultant, first class engineer works as an inventor.” For example, she told me how much patent bonus my youngest EE (aunty) would receive every time when she invented or created something new and this smart EE would change herself a brand new posh car in every three years.

   Mommy said she has been day-dreaming both my sister and I to earn our first degree in law before pursuing our chief interest to become an inventing scientist and plastic surgeon. Her reason is later days if I really have invented something new like for an example a most feasible powerful solar energy generator; at least I know how to protect my own rights legally instead of consulting a wrong crooked lawyer.

   BUT she said these are just dreams not something realistic, to get real we have to act mature, become self-motivated to study very hard besides having entrepreneur good spirits that always care for better living standard for everyone, she said that’s why she doesn’t like to stay in a place where most rich people think that they are the only king and all the rest of the people who work for them are slaves.

   Mommy said that’s why this could happen to an arrogant big shot when he or his wife saw a figure of half million ringgit that would be going to a subcontractor’s pocket, the figure would be soon cut off to 60%, ‘They only like to see big figures go into their own bank account not others'.’ Mommy said some rich businessmen also asked their “slaves” to evade tax for them indirectly, mommy said lousy, useless and powerless government is also like an unable fisherman as he was only keen in catching small fishes but all big fish would escape unharmed.

   Mommy told me now she also felt like an indirect slave being pinched under daddy big boss’s thumb, mommy said when daddy couldn't claim enough money from his big boss, daddy won’t be able to give a lot of money to her, then she won’t have enough money for household expenses, she said that’s the reason we don’t have kitchen cabinets since 4 years ago we moved in to Kuching. She said everyday she hopes that tomorrow will be better and richer but she and daddy’s luck actually are both betting zero since I was born.

   In this world she said "only a particular third class engineer’s big takau boss and his immediate family" entitle to have 6-stars kind of living standard, we are just slaves spared under their mercies. Mommy said when a main contractor holds the work-done money not releasing reasonably to the subcontractors, a poor subcontractor like my dad will suffer, and his immediate family will also suffer, mommy said worst is she feels she is worst than an Indonesian maid because even an Indonesian maid at least will eventually saves some cash money in bank, but mommy said due to dad’s unstable financial income incurred by his contractor, she doesn’t have any saving now, she said as long as she can pay off her monthly credit card, she should thank God’s grace on her, she told me anything can happen to a person when he works for a filthy rich lawyer, as laws can be modified by a sly lawyer.

Mommy loves to nag at us to study hard as she always said she is not optimistic of my dad’s current prospect, she said anytime we may end up sleeping on the street if something turns wrong with my daddy’s work as she is jobless now, worst very recently when she thought of reviving her career she suffers unavoided defamation by someone whom she helped greatly before.  

    

   She said she heard many Malaysian lawyers these days not really doing their legal jobs chiefly but mostly they are very successful businessmen as well, they know how to bribe contracts from the authority, and then employed subcontractors like my daddy to work on their awarded civil works, worst mommy said these lawyers don’t know anything about civil works or engineers’ job, as they sit in the air-conditioned room all the time, they thought that rainy days also could do earth works, build roads and do constructions, thus when subcontractors asked their big Datuk-contractors for money to pay their civil site workers and other expenses, usually the money released was merely 60% of work done being released.

   Mommy said now is coming to Malay new year, she questioned me, ‘How about those native workers working for your daddy, if they deserve RM1000 after sweating under hot sun, due to your daddy big boss only released 60% of work-done payment, and how about if your daddy also acted the same like his big boss, give the workers 60% payment of their work-done, i.e. RM600 for their Malay new Year?’

   Mommy said, 'These native workers will KILL your daddy BUT they won’t go killing daddy’s big boss, but actually he was the one who didn’t want to release the whole sum of work done money!' Mommy added that filthy rich people sometimes can be very very very insensitive, mommy said they don't know they are actually the worst bullies on the whole earth.

I think mommy said that we are so poor all because daddy was never able to find a good understanding big boss, we are suffering, that’s why she said for years we can’t return visiting our birth place, even RM8000 air ticket daddy can’t afford to give mommy as daddy has to use the limited money to pay his workers’ salaries in the work site, or else nobody will work for him anymore, and when a project is not progressed, there won’t have any money released by his boss who always sits in the air-conditioned room, travels in first class and who only cares if he has enough cash money to invest a new venture. Mommy said, ‘Never choose a job like daddy that depend on the sky, sunny day and someone’s mercy to earn money, that’s why we are half starving, we are staying in rainy Malaysia not the arid dessert!’

   I asked mommy what is called bribe an authority, she said this happened almost in every third world countries, ‘It means when there is a tender of multi-million ringgit released to the public, but after 7 days, contractors will receive another notice notifying that there was a cancellation of such tender or some tenders even never sees “the light” as they would directly go to someone who gave “undertable” money to the authority. ’

   'I wondered if they used a big bag-pack to carry the cash money to someone they bribed?' I said, mommy was so surprised how I know it! All because long time ago when I went to a bank with mommy, I saw a businessman walked into a special room, then I saw they were counting stacks of cash money, actually I had never seemed so much money like that in my life, later he walked out with a heavy bag-pack, I asked mommy what he was carrying, mommy said that I was stupid,

   ‘Don’t you see that’s $$$$$, the money is not belonged to the man, but I swear my head that he gives those kinds of $$$ notes to a politician, especially now is the election time!’

   Mommy said people being filthy rich but selfish, greedy and unkind usually happened to English educated British ex-colonies’ Asians with bad family background, they have no religion, with limited moral and ethical standard, she said actually they are many of this kind of mean businessmen around the globe, even in Taiwan, Korea and China there are many of this kind of filthy rich businessmen where they have many mistresses and when their wives felt neglected, usually these wives would go for plastic surgeries to make them look prettier and younger and some would end up in Buddhist monasteries to do meditations yet the minutes they walked out of the monasteries, these rich wives would act as mean, as greedy and selfish like their husbands.

   She said these filthy rich wives will be the potential clients for my sister if one later day she really can become a plastic surgeon, mommy said these rich tai tai got money, they are unhappy thus they are usually very nasty, hypocrite and mean to poorer people too, when they did charity, mommy said most of them acted like hens’ clucked when they laid eggs, and we could see that in the newspapers all the time! Mommy said, if my sister will not able turning someone to look like a famous film star Angelina Jolie as requested, she will be sued by the rich tai tai, that’s why mommy insisted that mei mei to study her first degree in law.

One day I heard our gardener complained very angrily to my mom, he said he and his son blasted off the old paint job and then painted a Datuk’s mansion for two months but ended the Datuk only gave them RM500 and even accused them of stealing, can you believe that it happened right here in Kuching city?! He said he didn’t dare to ask anymore because this Datuk has gangsters’ backup.

   Mommy told me even we are poor; at least we never bullied people like this Datuk did to our poor gardener. Obviously to me, most Datuks only carried money to “the authorities” to exchanged for contracts after contracts, they look up but never look down, like I heard someone said they hold big shot’s ball (I think that’s the right word?). But bully and rid-off poorer people and those they think who are inferior beings than them is really horrible, mommy said when I grow up if I become filthy rich too, I should act like Bill Gate donates most of his money for charity works.

   Mommy said that’s why she kept nagging me and mei mei (sister) to study hard, she said just in case one day daddy’s business goes to drain due to his hard work was not fully paid, 20 years later I still can help to straighten it if I end up as a powerful lawyer aided by another engineering degree, but she said if we don’t study hard and don’t think high and far, then we will forever “step by someone under his toes!”

我呆在古晋的童年(II)

不知怎的，我妈妈总是能挖掘出我潜意识的恐惧！



http://moneytaitai.blogspot.com/2012/07/my-childhood-in-kuching-i-somehow-my.html





唠叨:小钱钱的妈妈





自我出生以来，妈妈已梦想成为一名作家，最近她频频阅读那些厚厚的天文学书籍，然后她喜欢跟我讲她自己的科幻版本故事，有时我很困惑，她就说我愚蠢，嗯.........在这种情况下，我感到很高兴，姨姨们叫她bipolar (双极性)! 当她告诉我那些术语，如 supernova (超新星), Big bang (大爆炸) 和 time lapse(时间间隔)等等,但我学了这些新的词汇，实际上却不知道他们真正的含义。

   妈妈说，好书会让人看了半信半疑，作家写什么，就像老千让人相信他讲的话！可能妈妈讲的是对的，例如罗琳写的魔法书，大部分孩子真的相信她书中的情节。妈妈说，当读者阅读一本好书的期间, 它可以“暂时欺骗”了他们，她认为这是一本成功的书。
  
   突然有一天她告诉我世界末日可能会发生于今年底十二月21日或12月23日，她说，如果我们仍然平安的生存，她将隆重为我庆祝10岁的生日, 这是在最近几个月内, 她对我讲过最好听的话了!

 

最近，我妈妈爱告诫我世界末日可能会发生的一些悲惨事件或厄运。她告诫必须心理预备着, 如果全家人死了除了我一个人活着,  但我可能被辐射了!

   她说，如果我醒来的时候，我可能蜷缩在一个大水渠里最深的部分，她说我不应该感到惊讶，也不会有任何镜子存在了，所以如果我从毒水的反映中看到我滑稽竖立的头发，她说我应该高兴自己仍然存活着，而且仍然有一双眼睛可以看东西！

   她说，圣经中提到，活的狗比死了的人好！于是，她说，我必须勇敢地继续生活。

   她告诉我，我应该学会如何使用石头引发火苗，如何学习使用木材和木炭做饭，她还有另外一个理论:她说我可能会被吸入一个space worm (空间蠕洞) 结果落地在亚马逊内地的某处，我可能一人孤独终生或一个当地的女孩将要嫁给我！

   她说，一些土著在10岁结婚是很正常！她说，我也可能随着 “space blanket”(空间毯) 同一些旧世界文盲的人落地生根在另一个初期的宇宙中，50年后, 初期宇宙高文明水准的白人在丛林中发现我们的存在, 高文明水准的白人看到我们穿着的是大无花果叶! (母亲可真会拿我来开玩笑) 我们将在高文明水准的世界里 (...... 这些白人使用的手提电话，就好像妈妈的故事书中提到可以折叠的像中国扇子似的手提电话，但打开时，它就会变成一台电脑或电视屏幕 …………) 即刻成为著名人物。妈妈说他们的标题将是“我们找到自己称为”拉子” (福州人叫未开化的人) 的人，他们说，他们来自从遥远的一个世界。”


   我妈妈说，当我们被吸到年轻的宇宙的时候，因为我们都太年幼或者是文盲, 所以当文明的人问我源自于哪里，我却不能够给予正确的答案，因为我不知道什么是所谓的“另一个宇宙”，“太空蠕洞”并且最糟糕的是 .... 她说：我也不知道如何计算复杂的数学和理解高级科学。她说，这就是为什么我必须努力读书。

  她还提醒，我不应该笑人家称别人为 Sakai (未开文化的人) 就像我曾听到隔壁的邻居给妈妈一绰号Sakai，她说每个人都可以变成Sakai，如果真的是有空间蠕洞，妈妈说，她怀疑会有比空间蠕洞更浩大特殊的异象, 被她称为“空间毯"，它会折叠我们宇宙的一部分，包括我们的地球然后转移到另一个较年轻的宇宙，在这种情况下很多人会死亡，特别是那些有气喘病的!

   我问妈妈，为什么？她说，有哮喘的人他们总是在飞机上，由于缺乏氧气，因此他们就出现呼吸困难，他们可以很容易地紧张, 引致了致命的气喘. 因此, 如果一些未知闪电般发生，她说在这种情况我妹妹一定包死。

   她告诉我, 如果“空间毯”或“空间蠕洞”发生在一瞬间，我们会感受到失重，重力自由和浮动一样，她劝我只让它当作游玩一个迪斯尼新发明的游戏, 名为“重力自由转换带”!





她说，希望“世界末日”发生的只是不太严重......小尺度的一种, 只是没有太阳的黑暗三天，我们只需要穿冬天大衣和隐藏在毯子下三天，她说在地面至少一天后还可以释放一些对流热，她说，最要命的，如果天气3天袭击超过摄氏50度，，然后让热“慢慢烹饪”我们, 就像她如何煨煮那些 Gherkin pickles (小黄瓜泡菜)！这我可明白她说的是什么！

   然后她说，如果我们都死了，结果发现我自己会漂浮在空气中，但无法找到她和妹妹，她告诉我，那就问其他人耶稣在那里，她说如果她不能进入天堂之门，她会在门外等待，只是为了确保了我进入天堂的大门。她说，她相当肯定我所有的祖父母, 外公婆, 表兄弟姐妹，叔叔和阿姨，都在那里，他们可以好好照顾我！

   当我的头感到臃肿时, 我通常会请妈妈住嘴，她可真会挖掘出我最深潜意识的恐惧，我其实很害怕如果她真的死了！

HOW TO CURE MIGRAINE?

I often have once-a-month-migraine  since so long ago that I have forgotten!

Written by Miss Yellow

Like kids, I also love fried fish or french fries, I love something crunchy, and I become quite an expert now to fry real crunchy fried fish and ikan bilies, actually the little secret is using glutinous rice powder not the corn starch or the flour.

Fried foods? People who always have migraine will think twice before think of eating it!

If you experience migraine bad enough that every month you have to go see doctor, the doctor will give you yellow and blue mirgaine tablets. These few months however no doctor can earn my money, because when I felt a bit "bloating" over my head, I would immediately prepare my "Kacama" tea. (Leonurus heterophyllus tea)

'What Kacama? Is it "Hot" too heaty for your body and will sure make your headache gets worst!'

This is a very common warning given by Chinese old "China-women", kacama is not heaty if you don't use a kilogram of ginger to cook along with it dudes............*&^$#$**

'What? Kacama is bitter, how to make it into tea, using tea leaves?'

 Dudes.. kacama tea is not TEA leaves, chrysanthemum tea is made from chrysanthemun flowers, kacama tea is made from kacama leaves (either fresh or dried one).

 CAUTION: DON'T LET CHILDREN EAT KACAMA!!!!

 

I used my dad (prostate problem) as a guinea pig last month, initially I tried to prepare different version of kacama concoctions, eventually my dad said this version tasted the best! I mixed the kacama leaves with red dates (smashed the red dates), rinse the dried kacama leaves once, boil the handful of smashed red dates, a handful of kacama leaves and 2 litres of water for a while only, then simmer for 30 minutes, sieve before drink.

Do it at least three times in a month, recommended for old ladies who have migraine and insomnia, old women if you want nice complexion and old men who have prostrate problem.

Note: Always see doctors when your headache persists and please read the precautions from the website attached

http://www.rootdown.us/Herbs/Yi+Mu+Cao

Kuching people are very lucky, you can buy a package of dried kacama leaves less than RM5.00 (US$1.5)

This is one of the kacama seedlings in my garden.