Dreaming to Open a Malaysians' Cafe

Written By Mrs. Money

We call our Malaysian style coffee shop as kopitiam, in Malaysia if one got thirsty, it would be more difficult to find a water tap but one could find a kopitiam as easy as one could find a coconut tree as long as there is a green patch.

These days to open a kopitiam has become a fashion or trend for youngsters and adult dreamers without much consideration and ended only few last. Just recently, there is a new kopitiam opened near my house (very good location), I saw there were so many customers for the first week and then it cools down now. After first time I went there, I didn’t come across any exciting things to eat or to see, I wonder how long it will last if there is nothing changed! Since that I rather drove few kilometers away to take my breakfast in other more exciting kopitiam.

Many people “day dream” to open a kopitiam after they experienced terrible services, monotonously boring and unhygienic foods around the city, so they “think” they can do a better job if they open their own “better” kopitiam.

I hope after reading the following ideas and tips, I wonder how many more people would still dare to bluff, day dream and bullshits their “perfect kopitiam” fantasy!

1. Kopitiam is involved in counting sens (cents) as the proceeds. E.g. if one sells houses, his proceed starts on counting thousand ringgit bill. So don't block a side of your brains think that those musical ten thousand cents would go direcly to your bank account to convert into ringgit bills, remind you that there are lots of bills and debts waiting to settle!


2. To open a kopitiam, the owner has to get up to open a shop before any rooster crow; these days how many pampered youngsters want to get out of bed before 6am? Unless you can hire an older uncle or auntie to work for you!
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4. Make sure there are lots of parking spaces (best can park directly right in front of all “four corners” surrounded a kopitiam, with less than 10 steps away from a coffee table and without parking coupon!)
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6. Make sure the location of the kopitiam is “the port of call” of all those cross roads. Nobody would enjoy to enter a kopitiam but to get out the way takes 30 minutes due to jam and U-turn of few kilometers.
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8. The rental for a kopitiam is usually very high due to it takes up corner lot of a shop lot. (How about bills for water, gas, electricity and workers’ salaries?)
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10. The coffee and tea served tasted like second serving from charcoal added coffee or “used” Lipton teabag; I would advice if one really wants to open coffee shop, get the good grading coffee directly imported from Indonesia, use good grade Indian red tea or Lipton, secretly add a pinch of salt and the cardamom seeds to “smooth” ones’ tongue, cardamom amazingly would wake up ones’ taste buds. Milk must be heated up to prepare tea si, serving cups always must be warmed and cleaned directly from boiling water
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12. I wonder there are how many awarded Class A kopitiam by city council in Kuching! How many kopitiam plates and cups are washed by dish washers instead manually by hands with cold tap water with dish detergent (or laundry detergent?) If you see those plates, spoons and chopsticks are dried up by a same towel, what would be your response? Can your cleaning lady still giving caring words to the little kid after she vomited all over the floor, chairs and table?
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14. You know how much you have to spend on renovation, deposits on phone and electricity and other capital assets? At least RM50,000.00 to 100,00.00.
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16. Are you possible to train a group of waiters and waitresses who would be patient, tolerating, polite, sensitive of customers’ needs and smooth talk to all sort of customers (in such case only if you promise them extra ang bow if monthly proceed grossed RM100,000.00!)
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18. Coming to foods can you consistently supply most fresh and biggest prawns, baby coriander and lime for your customers’ laksa? Can you come out of special foods that some other kopitiam won’t sell and think of?
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20. Are you innovative enough to think of opening just a concept kopitiam ----- a Foo Chow Kopitiam, selling only Foo Chow foods like handmade Kam Pua Mee 乾盤麵 (noodles);You Zha Qua 油炸鬼(Deep fried stick); Tie Bian (Deep fried oysters cookie); Man Chew Ko (flour fried with lard) and Kong Piang 光餅(Foo Chow bagel), this alone could make a very prospective business, Kong Bian can fill up with different kinds of meat, and innovative kong bian dough could be added with garlic chives or spring onion (Some shops in Rejang region put kaya in Kong Bian, my kids and I hate it!)
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22. Where to locate and employ real good trained chefs? (This is the major problem, I lament those chefs with not much talents but too arrogant nature) There are lot of fussiest haughty eaters than good chefs in Kuching town; the real good ones sometimes they rather hide in the houses to cook for their husbands, wives and children! Teach you a secret to make good Kong Piang: Make sure you leave your dough in refrigerator for 8 hours before tapering them into shapes before baking. Similarly this secret applied to all things made from flour, the longer you leave the dough, the chewier it gets.
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24. Mr. Money always told me why men can become better chefs is because a male chef never thinks stingily like women chef. So remember like any best artists in the world, think of nothing else (money) but to produce the best result out of your arts (foods)


25. Lastly to open a kopitiam you need a special pass from fire department (you have to buy fire extinguisher, the gas need to be renewed annually)
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So after reading this article, how many people still want to open a KOPITIAM?

Mr. Money said I can’t open a kopitiam because I would treat everyone as my friends so at the end of the day, I would serve “free kopi and tea C to all my friends!”

Happened to us in one of a Kuching Kopitiem: Wasting customers' money and trust. Uncooked Mee Hung Soup for my children, we ended up ordering other foods.