WHAT YOU HAVE TO WATCH OUT BEFORE GETTING SERIOUS WITH A MAN OR GIRL!

If you think of getting married without many unbearable future problems with your spouse..

Written by Miss Yellow

A year ago, when my car got hit from behind by an absent minded woman, I was told off by Mr. Money that if I could get my insurance money refunded fully then he would use my sir name “Yellow”, and now a year later the insurance money refunded was almost a hundred ringgit more than RM1800. I remember I paid the repairing money to the mechanic from my own savings (Ang Bow given by my old folks’ 50th anniversary) as Mr. Money decided he was not going to pay for the “very expensive” repairing bill. Even after a year now, he and someone related to him still asked me the same question, “Why you have to pay the mechanic first, when my (or my so an so’s (my wife’s)) car being knocked from behind, my mechanic would handle everything, and I (she) didn't need to pay any cash to the mechanic first and I (she) would get refunded quickly."

I angrily retorted, “Dub …..you and your so and so’s wife was holding first class insurance, of course after the accident, the mechanic would handle everything, but the car you let me drive was insured with the third class insurance!” Now I understand why my son is so stupid, because even if I kept repeating the same issue, still they couldn’t understand things explained to them. Such third class insurance’s rules are implemented all over Malaysia, when they are not the king to be able to change laws and rules, the poor wife or (someone with bad fate) would be subjected under verbal accuse and abuse.

For more than 9 months, I paid to the mechanic who didn’t do anything to claim to my insurance until I wrote two complain emails to KL Kurnia insurance company. When the issue got to the big boss, I really appreciated them to put my case into a priority claim case, yet still I heard some negative "barking" remarks like, “I think they have already claimed the money for themselves, I think they just wanted to waste your time, they deliberately kept delaying the procedures with all sorts of excuses and hard time given to you, I don’t think they want to pay you and I don’t think you are going to claim any money eventually!”

As Miss Yellow, rascals and bullies could cheat me but they won’t be able to bully me forever, I replied them, “Even though I am not a lawyer, or professionals like a doctor and engineer but at least I did earn my bachelor degree with an honor. So what the use of accepting higher education but not using it when crises happened? If someone hit me from behind if I didn’t apply abrupt brake, that’s for sure not my fault, if Malaysia still is a country with laws, then for sure I could get back my money!” And I stood my point amongst those Chinamen discouraging satire words, I got my insurance claim recovered. If they really don't trust this country Malaysia, then why the minute their "Chinawoman" mum asked them to return from overseas, they would follow the 'empress orders"!

I think if the highly educated Malaysians (worst they were educated overseas yet they could be so negative) who don't want to spend their times writing complain emails to the authorities but just thought and gossiped of something negative to their as useless negative friends, so who would know their problems?

These days I never trust a rascal’s promises anymore after being cheated by so many rascals, even when I sold off my businesses, with the white and black papers, someone could still cheat me, so don’t tell me all those bluffed promises without any black and white. If you open your eyes big and wide, and with your 6th sense turns on, you will find there are more rascals and bullies than genuine people around us.

I couldn’t concentrate reading anymore thick books and nobles after first baby born; from there I began to read some Taiwanese’s paperback “Mills and Booms” romance books. Not many people realize that this genre of Taiwanese romance that could par up with western romance book in depicting sex and love, which can be easily found and rented from major towns’ books rental store. I also think that adults should watch out their teenager-boys if they go this kind of rental store without your accompaniment, tell you a secret…. There are plentiful of xxx-cartoon books for rent, once out of curiosity I rent some to bring home reading, after I flicked through few pages, I was laughing so loudly, I thought I wasted my money but it was an eye opening for me, although it was just a cartoon book, different sexual acts were drawn explicitly clear and “creative” by the Japanese cartoonists with Mandarin translations. I even wondered why the authority didn't give a bar on this genre of cartoon books? I should be glad that this genre of xxx cartoons or movies could never entice me because I could draw pleasure from other form of hobbies. My professor used to tell me this, “Why American kids are so absorbed in sex? Because it is the easiest way to derive pleasure, once they experienced sex, they wouldn’t want to pursue a good hobby anymore, as hobbies required hard work, discipline , good EQ, IQ and talent during the course of pursuing, as it could be years to learn a good hobby up to a master level.”

Not all XXX Taiwanese romance are bad, some I even learned something that I was never being taught by my old fashion old folks. There was an example in a romance, the writer advised that when girls met a desired man, there are few DON’Ts.

1. Don’t “chase” immediately, you must “pause” yourself. She said these days good and rich modern men are in aware that they are the rare species, they sense of self-protection is very high too. They would reject the girl who came too strong to them.

2. Don’t “blind” yourself. You must look carefully if he is too short, too ugly or too fat, in short you must watch out for suitable outer features that par up with yours. Because if he is too short, soon after you married him, you would hear lots of unnecessary gossips, humiliation, insults and mocking trailing behind you when you walk out of a kopitiam!

3. Don’t “Deafen” yourself. You must have your wide spy networks. Check if he was married before, if he is a compulsive cheater who has rogue tongue, or actually he already tried to set up on you by approaching your circle of family friends or siblings to create his weasel-claim version of “rich and success stories” to impress you, if he has bad habits like gambling, partying often until 3:30am (bar closed at 2am, he would go eating super until 3am and spent 30 minutes to reach home). You must check if he has any credit card (make sure he is the original card holder not the supplementary card holder!) These days, Malaysian banks won’t issue any credit card to man who has bad debts and bad payments records. Check if he owes any debts to his family members, or he has such “mercy soft heart” that he would loan his money to his "needy and poor" friends as long as they hold “his ball”! Check if he changes his job after every few years or frequently. You must check his family background: If his mum is the first wife and only wife? Or if his dad has two wives, and his mum is the second wife, then you have to put a stop on this man. If he is the second wife’s son, his excuse was his dad’s first wife couldn’t produce any son or kid, that’s why his dad looking for a second wife that’s his mum, then you have to be very careful that if you get married to him, if anything doesn’t please him, e.g. to produce as many kids as he desires, you will face the “high risk” that he will find excuses (exactly like his dad did to his first wife) for himself to look for a second one. There were also cases when “a dad” looking for a mistress, there is a “high risk” that one of his sons will follow his dad’s footsteps.

For me I think modern highly educated girls should never married to a member from the very traditional Chinese family background or else she will suffer.  The Chinamen and “Chinawomen” are always keen in asking their kids and siblings to get married off when coming to late twenties and early thirties, but they were never too good in “polishing up” their own son and brother or taking a good look over “a mirror” to see if they are good enough for a good girl too? They wished their son or brother could find a “princess” yet “the loser” doesn’t even have a steady job, no car, no credit card due to bad banks payments and credits, or stupid enough to act as someone’s bank guarantor, no house, worst the loser owes the family members ton of bad debts, etc. I call these kinds of selfish old folks and siblings as simply “accessories” to bad marriage. So they got their “loser” son or brother to get married, he would end up have at least a “descendent” (a SON, not girl for this kind of Chinaman-family) is the prime factor and the most important thing in life? Or they thought childishly that if their old useless bachelor son or sibling after getting married he would learn to behave and settle down? Were they thinking too naïve or simply wanting to escape the responsibility as Chinese always thinks that to marry off a single member at home will ease them from a responsibility, but actually that single lady or sister never even asked them for a dime to live by her own! The main problem of these “Chinamen and Chinawomen” is caused by somewhere in their brain is being blocked from awakening and enlightening, thus they could selfishly destroying someone’s better future, happier and healthy life-styles just for their own goods, stuck-up believes and thoughts.

What is called bad marriage? If you get married to a man as followed, you are actually not far from reaching a lawyer’s office for a divorce or you are actually being "nailed by all your narrow-minded members in a marriage jail". In Chinamen infested society, most Chinamen will be always standing in a win-win situation, no matter how bad they treat their wives, some "Chinawomen" will always stand by those men's side to go against a prolonged poorly bullied woman. For the Chinamen: The first wife is just used as “to get married” to show his friends and family members that finally he has “found a wife” at his “old age”, but she merely was also used by him as a child bearing machine, when she only likes to produce a son, he will keep pestering and pressuring her to bear more sons yet he doesn’t have that financial ability to support so many kids; the minute he knows that his wife “stop production” he starts to think of a potential target who will be willing to act as a secret No. 2; he will never care if the first wife is being "sentence to jail" by him in a "marriage graveyard"; she will hardly see her husband, may be once a month or year with monthly financial support reaching her on and off inconsistently that will get her nerve nervous; besides she is never allocated with one goal consistent or regular allowance from her husband she also has to worry when her husband will be fired by his current contracted boss. (Always a problemnatic unreliable husband also is not good and unreliable in his professional arena too) After only sold off all her past business empire that built by her during her most “productive years” that was before she got married, then only she found out by accident that her husband is a “tin-kosong” (an empty shell); he would never share “what’s going out there with her”, he will say, “You jiyuan ner nen don’t need to know too much”, he is contradicting himself, when he initially looked for a wife, he wanted a highly educated wife, yet after she married him, he “cold-storage” her, so what for he wastes a “knowledgeable or helpful resources” of this society by destroying her good and reputed career? He always thinks too highly of himself: He always counting eggs before chickens and never a single thing that he managed were successful instead he blamed economic or inflations better than a famous evangelist, so his wife tolerated and trying to be an understanding wife, this will go on for a decade or two, but time flies, after twenty years he will give her excuses to her that he will by then getting old, “Hmm… these days I can’t fight with those young engineers anymore…. But they are not experience than me but how can….!” Another excuse he gives to her again that can worry and give her more white hairs. He never admits that he is unable, he is not getting as rich as some contractors who are even not an engineer and who even didn’t have chance to attend a university. If his wife tells him,

“Look, my sisters will be going to Paris for holidays this coming Dec.” He will either pretend not listening or he will reply her, “Who asks you doesn’t have good fate like them?”

“Aren’t you a Jesus believer, why now you tell me there is good and bad fate?”

“You jiyuan ner nen talk too much, that’s why I don’t like to come back home often.”

In short, the first wife never can talk too much and express too much of her feelings to her Chinaman-husband, she will be always a lone-wolf. If she asks her husband for extra money to meet month end due, he will scold her, “Why you are such a big spender?” He is not in aware the goods almost double the price after every 10 years, he is merely living in his 80s and think 80s of what his happiest college days life and the way of living, carefree and without any responsibility.

His first wife will never ask him for money for travelling during any of the kids’ school holidays because she is afraid that he can’t afford it yet for his own face’s sake, he ends up borrowing money from his friends for his wife’s overseas travelling.

And worst of all, this kind of husband is the killer for a wife’s professional career, he would kindly tell her to quit her job to move and dwell in a new city, yet upon reaching a new city, he never lifts a single finger to build a home with her and re-path her a new career, after trying her ways around to seek for a new career in a new city, with many expensive advertisements published yet frustrated enough she finally quits with diminished self-esteem, he actually feel very happy to hear what have happened to her.

So, don’t you think as a mother, don’t you need to teach your pretty and highly educated daughters how to look for an as equally good husband? I will advise mothers to teach your children how to look for their spouse since young days as a part of family education, (lest that he brings home a girl that you don't like, because if you don't teach him, he won't know what's your expectation) always remember to teach your son that he better has 4 or 5Cs (can COOK) before planning to look for a girlfriend instead if expecting him to look for a rich girl expecting him to act as a giccolo or control freak and always remember to teach your daughter that she better has 4 or 5Cs too, just in case she is an introvert good girl who doesn’t know how to socialize in order to fish a good boyfriend, if the girls reaching 35 years old, I will not advise single girls to get married anymore, even if you have money, the gap between you and your new born kids will be too wide and at older age, actually you will lose your vitality to look after an overactive babies and infants.

I have seemed enough rich and older bachelors, they are the indecisive group of men about which girls to get married, these men know that they are fully loaded, respected in their professional arenas, no obvious bad habits except they are really indecisive, there are many girls chasing after them, yet they will only choose one that are young, same highly professional and daring enough to jump to their beds! Usually the minute you hear that they were married, soon after 7 or 8 months they would have a baby born. The "older unmarried eligible bachelors" sure WON’T look for an older lady to get married, if they do, that mean they actually want the “somebody” or “somebody’s daughter” kind of lady yet he won’t be able to handle her fames or provide her the same financial backup, the truth is he is actually a “conman” in disguise, it happened to a very famous Taiwanese talk show star to many other unfortunate, unlucky and innocence women.