HOW FREE ARE MALAYSIAN-HOUSEWIVES?

In Australia they call housewives as homemakers….

Written by Money Tai Tai

I worked since 15 years old, working part-time became my habit since form 2 to including studied all over universities in different countries. Then when I graduated to earn my degree, immediately I commenced my full-booming work!

   To quit my job acting as a housewife was my dream, it was not because I thought becoming a housewife would be freer, to “make unfair remarks on other housewives” or “acting on behalf of other housewives’ minds” was and is not my interest, it actually didn’t come to my busy mind. 

   Only these days I realized most full-time housewives actually were subjected under long-term emotional battered of being not financially independent, thus they were controlled under the thumb of their chauvinistic husbands.

  

Smart women would keep encouraging and aiming their daughters grow up to become professionals but stupid women would abuse their own daughters, only put their concentration on sons. Actually it is more important to educate daughters for higher studies than sons when you have chauvinistic husbands-in-residence! Those inheritances would go to your sons not your daughters, if you are a smart woman then trying to squeeze as much money from your daughter’s dad to send your daughter to college, that would actually path her a good future  and in return, earn you worried-free next half life, especially if she turns into a doctor. Even if she got divorce, she wouldn’t return home asking you “old mom” to feed her and her kids!

   

   I experienced such “comedy episode” of a proud housewife-mommy recently, I called my long-lost contact student’s mother asked her where about was her daughter, she proudly told me, ‘She is a doctor now, she just passed her GP, do you know what is GP?’ Then I patiently let her explained the term GP to me, I was simply amused.

   

   I would advise all housewives, even though you didn’t get any chance to attend higher education after your secondary school studies, but you must READ profoundly, or else one day when your daughter becomes a doctor you would think the rest of women were ignorant (like you) except your daughter now is “highly educated.”

   

   Unluckily I also “bounced” into another kind of “ghost-like” devil-mom who never likes to read, not even newspapers! She would treat any of her child’s classmates or teachers as a future imaginary enemy. 

   This kind of devil-moms got high ego to train their “as highly ego talented kids” to become somebody famous, they became "notorious"  as  they always would defame their kids' “potential rivals”, they would do something ingratitude to their imaginary enemies, usually the little child  of theirs would act quicker than the hypocrite mother, he/she would soon “unfriend” his/her teacher, while the hypocrite mom still keeps “acting polite” to their kid's teacher.

   

   I began to notice a young part-time students of mine (came lessons with me for only three times) particularly due to her most ingratitude behavior (in my entire teaching life), I discovered she "unfriended" me when I wanted to send some documents to help her via her facebook, then I only found that out since when, I really have no idea she had already "unfriended" me in her facebook, I wouldn’t have mind if she has 100 friends if she "unfriended" me, but she has more than 500 friends, and yet she would "unfriend" me! 

   I later learned that both her mom and the little daughter of hers didn’t like my corrections or making any other suggestions. As a teacher if I kept giving positive comments but without making any correction on students' problems then why I have to teach? I also noticed this kind of mothers when they have a quite talented kid they began to act bossy, they would flatter how talented their kids to even a stranger but wouldn’t allow any criticism from any people/teacher, or else they would immediately defame and fire that person/teacher, yet in front of those teachers they would say act how appreciate and grateful! Why you think a child who was only 12 could do that to her teacher while her mom would continuously calling her daughter’s teacher pretentiously flattering her!!!???

My thought of quitting my job after I got married was because I thought since I was getting so old to get married to have babies, I should quit my job. As during my working three decades as a teacher I could see those little “monsters” could turn into “angels” the minute they saw their professional doctor or lawyer moms arrived my doorsteps, ‘Hey mom!’ The sweetest angelic voices resonance in my ears up to these days! 

   Soon their mom would bring them enjoying nicest dinner and shopping to buy newest toys in town, I could tell those BUSY professional mommies were feeling guilty (remember it only happened to those very busy professional moms, once happened to me too) that their children were often neglected, so often by using material things to comfort and tame the “monsters” they felt it was fair to both kids and themselves too!

   

   This was just life, nothing went wrong, thanks god that all these kids after two decades now they still became lawyers or doctors like their moms! These kids grow-up still as lovely, they still would visit me whenever they came to Meow city. I think these kids with professional mothers never would treat me as a “role-model or future rival” to challenge their undertakings, their own professional mother would be their role model … They wouldn't act like other kids to make sure one day when they graduated from college, they would earn more money, dress up prettier, buy better branded things, cook better, eat better, have better professions than once their respected role model or once their challenged imaginary future rival. 

   Good gratitude kids who grow older would usually appreciate my encouragements and my “cherish” extended to them, in short, I expected them to do better than me like I wish at my daguhter. These kids were the ones who would still look up for me even they have become professionals but those ingratitude ones would pose the altitude, "HEHEHEHEE... NOW I AM BETTER THAN YOU! I WON!"

Mr. Money agreed that I could quit my job, now I only realized he had to agree or else I wouldn’t have married him and have his babies, that’s one of his hook and the “crooks” revealed when the household expenses came to me almost the end of some months and when his brother’s wife came to visit me told me how much debt he owes his family members. 

   When I quitted my job, a Datin would even admire my “free-from-job" new status, she would often “check” my "jobless tai tai  lifestyle" from my parents, ‘She has good life without working!’ she mentioned it often to my parents. 

   Until one day my mom retaliated, ‘Jobless but still with pocket full of money, only a woman like you will have good life!’ This Datin actually acts humble like any other Malaysian-housewives when she stays in the oil city, she didn’t have any maid but have to cook meals for her family, so she probably thought that I would act like her other friends... tai tai with two or three maids in the house helping or her "real Datin's lifestyle" in Beijing or KL!

   

This is my monotonous lifestyle after I become a housewife, see if you  want to quit your good job after being married to a man!!! (Remember, don't quit unless you only earn RM1000/month but he can produce you RM10,000/month. If you earn RM10,000++ but he could only give you RM5000, then you should never quit your job!)

   I got up at 5:45am, immediately I have to prepare breakfast for next thirty minutes (Thanks God that I have fast dexterities), to prepare my children’s breakfast, packed their refreshment boxes and filled up their water bottles. Then I would take a quick shower, changed and put up make-up (remember there are not many natural beauties but there are many lazy women!), by 6:30-45am, we are on the road. By the time reached home it would be around 7:15am, immediately I collected my newspaper, put the dirty clothes in the laundry, eat my breakfast while reading newspaper, once done I have to wash dishes, clean the house (only pick a place to clean in a day), then I have to water the plants in the garden, soon I have to hang out the clothes under the sun. By the time I would be sweat all over, when I turn on the air condition to sit on the desk starting my writing, I found out it’s coming to 10 soon, my pretty “assistant” from next street comes, she helps me to correct grammar of my written books (not these blog articles), next two hours we both don’t want to be disturbed, but soon my alarm service man, plumber, pest control or electrician would hop in some of the mornings.

   

   Breakfast out with friends? I really don’t like it, because it means my household works will be delayed, and something would not be done. Telephone calls from friends to gossip? I also don’t like it, because I would talk to my friend, then suddenly I had forgotten what I told her the previous sentence when I saw the dirty floor accidentally! By 1:00pm, like most mothers I have to go picked up my children. 

   I will continue my story to let those idly but financially sounded career women or housewives who think on my behalf that I must be very free , I will soon let them know what I would do in the afternoon and evening before I went to sleep! 

   Never ever make mean remarks to other housewives who battered by their husbands financially, especially if those ladies don’t even have a maid at home or even a husband present at home 3 days in a month! Worst, their kids are still young, who can’t help their mommy even to vacuum the floor yet!

AVENGERS IN ACTION II

Chinamen did it in disguise for win-win situation!

Written by Miss Yellow

There was another nasty avenger true story happened here in Sarawak. About 10 years ago, a Miss S got married at old age too to an engineer, only after marrying her husband for 10 years she realized she was just a piece of chess in a chess set manipulated by an avenger. He caused her lost her successful career, actually he cheated her that he was very successful in his business, he would tell her off that her whole year salary was not even as much as his monthly income.

   

   Miss S’s husband actually was interested to pursue after Miss S’s secondary school classmate who is a medical specialist.

The same old story of how a stranger bachelor man with his friend knocking at a single professional’s door with the ice-breaker, ‘Your uncle is my good friend!’ However, the doctor was not interested at all with the man; she didn’t entertain him at all even he made long-distance calls to her house.

    

   What she didn’t know that was he actually got angry in disguise and silent, he began to check out her background, very soon he began to target her classmate, one of her best friends, Miss S. However, Miss S was not an easy person to reach too, so he arranged through his classmates as they were Miss S sisters’ secondary school form-mates. From there he craftily reached Miss S, learned her weakness as a high-age single lady being pestered to get married off by her sibbling and parents, and he also proposed to her in such a short time, without letting Miss S having any chance to think twice, to regret or to change her decision.

Few similar facts of all these avengers: They are mostly not coming from  good family background and their parents are usually illiterate and poor. Yet they accepted higher education thus become professionals like either a lawyer or engineer, YET as they are not brilliant and thus not the high income professionals, they have low self-esteem, self-pride and confidence, they felt the need of a higher standing wife to boost them, like the Avenger in Action 1 mentioned, usually these men are crafty but not very clever, they are smooth talkers and advantage seekers.

   To hook a professional outstanding lady thus they acted as a good listener temporary, but the minute they got married to their “prey”, they changed their true color very soon, they didn’t even let their professional wives expressed their views anymone, “Women should not talk!”  soon progress to "Women should not go out to work" ----- a typical Chinaman and abusing character  has just began to emerge! 

   

In order to revenge the rejection from a targeted professional lady, if the professional lady was not a pretty girl, the avenger would sure either pursue for her prettier immediate associate, e.g. her colleague, ex-classmate or friend. 

   Or if the professional lady was not coming from a prominent family background, the avenger would “hunt” for a better background lady deliberately. But usually only the victim directly dealing and marrying to the avenger would be getting into deep shit, not the professional lady or e.g. not that medical specialist who rejected the engineer flat.

   

So it is always wiser not to get friendly or having anything to do with a newly-met man,  even you are not interested on him, but don’t act over kindly and friendly to become his match-maker, in turn he may hurt you and the girl that  you tried to match him. 

   Stay away from the newly-met man; if he insisted on chasing after you, you have to check professionally and family bacground-wise if you are “married down”! Never ever married down to any Chinaman (Please note that in my definition of "Chinaman" didn't mean the general Chinese man, but the chauvinistic kind of selfish, crafty and mean Chinese man) mediocre professional, or else you sure will suffer later!

   Also check if he knows any of your friends or even sister, before you want to date him out, please check if he ever tried to chase after anyone of them. 

   Very often when a man couldn’t get one of the sibling, he would chase another one, usually the one who is prettier, smarter or more able (the  main rival to her sibling).

AVENGERS IN ACTION 1

Chinamen did it in disguise for win-win situation!

Written by Miss Yellow

Single professional ladies, you have to be extra careful if one day a stranger with his relative or friend suddenly visited you in your house or your office, you kindly opened your door to “let them in” just because they claimed they knew one of your classmates, friends, siblings, parents or cousins.

   Have you ever thought why a stranger shown up right at your doorsteps? Did they have an ultimate motive?

Let me share with you a true story happened right here in Sarawak state about 15 years ago:

   Once a professional called Miss S didn’t know such stranger’s motive only after the following incident happened:

   One day, a lawyer showed up at Miss S doorstep introduced himself that he knew Miss S’s younger sister and Miss S’s church friends.

   Soon, Miss S kindly introduced him her staff, a Tan Seri’s niece, Miss S thought happily that they would be a good match. But soon not long after, Miss S heard that this lawyer got engaged to a pharmacist who was at least 8 years older than him, and at the same time he still dated Miss S ‘s staff out while he already got engaged, only the engagement news not yet published in the newspapers.

   After Miss S found that out, immediately she looked up for her staff, and she found out her staff also just heard the news too, they were so angry and both felt being betrayed by the lawyer. As an unsuccessful match-maker, Miss S felt she had hurt not just her staff badly but also her staff’s parents as well.

   Such bloody lawyer after he met the pharmacist, they got engaged and married within a very short month.

   Miss S was in awe and soon she began to realize what went wrong, she noticed the lawyer didn’t mind the pharmacist who was a lot older than him and she was a lot more famous than him.

Miss S came out an analysis:

   Initially, the bloody lawyer and his brother-in-law came respectively visiting her expressed their friendship to her…. The ultimate motive was actually targeting her. What the lawyer didn’t expect was when Miss S didn’t show her single bit interest on him (In short, Miss S showed no interest in a younger man) thus she kindly introduced her staff to him.

    Diplomatically he accepted Miss S’s arrangement and dated Miss S’s staff out, but he actually disguised his madness silently waiting for just a chance to revenge, he probably felt that Miss S looked down at him, he felt he lost his pride and face, thus he wanted to revenge, for win-win situation he wanted to hurt both Miss S and her staff by marrying someone whom he thought was richer, more able, more famous or better than Miss S, as for Miss S’s staff he would use her to entertain himself to pass time.

   His revenge began when he moved out of the oil town to the cat city; he finally got his chance to meet an older lady in a church that he thought would par up with Miss S.

   Their marriage actually stunned everyone due to their age differences and it happened in such short a short time, and his wife’s career was much more successful than him and she was also much more famous than him!

  

   So how happy was their marriage? Miss S heard someone told her that his wife’s father complaint that he was the most useless son-in-law amongst all his sons-in-law. 10 over years later Miss S saw him again in a book store with two little ugly girls, they probably inherited their mom’s look, he was so inpatient with them, ugly girls could be cute and good karma aura could be fostered with loving parents, but with this kind of avenger, calculative sleazy father, these little girls probably would never receive enough love and cherish from him. Miss S also pitied his older wife; did she ever find out what her husband did to Miss S and Miss S’s staff? Did she know that she was just a piece in his chess set game?

I guess for sure the lawyer’s older-age wife didn’t have any idea, or probably he would make up a story to her that Miss S and Miss S’s staff were both chasing after him franticly that’s why he ended up moving to cat city!

   

   Chinaman-avengers usually are great stories-makers, compulsive liars, good in disguise and very crafty, they will never become a good husband and father, in short they are very selfish, using their wives like a tool and slave, and they are not good in managing their business too, as they are actually not the very clever kind of men, but just good in cheating at unattained richer or more prominet ladies or else they wouldn't have to depend on a much more outstanding wife to give them laurels! That’s why the lawyer wanted the engagement and marriage happened as quickly as possible because I think deep in his heart he feared that Miss S or his girlfriend would reveal the truth to his wife. 

Taste Buds Trills

A meal with Burmese salad and Daun Kesom spring rolls

 Yummy Burmese Salad

Written by Miss Yellow

A few months ago I learned that green unripe papaya is one of the natural remedies to cure cancer, but my excuse is my body’s cancer cells has not pinched me down yet, I not gonna forcing myself drinking green papaya juice like those poor malaria patients.

   On January, I was juicing green papaya and air flown it for my malaria infested ex-cancer-patient sister in Singapore, I wondered how could Singapore, such a clean country, her residents suffered from Malaria, and then I was told, ‘Indonesians brought it!’ Hmmmm……….

My Burmese neighbor heard that I wanted to do something with my green unripe papaya on my papaya trees (Last year end, I chopped two, died one and I only have a tree remained) immediately she offered to prepare and let me tried her Burmese salad.

   My Burmese neighbor is from a very prominent Burmese family and she develops very good taste buds for gourmet foods and her green papaya salad prepared for me was much more refined and tastier than any green papaya salads I tried before.

Of course after that from time to time I innovated it in different ways, anyhow she always likes my innovative ways especially after a day of hard work, she never complaint anything I ever cooked for her!

 Have you ever thought of preparing spring roll with daun kesom?

http://miraclekitchencleaningaidsco.blogspot.com/2013/03/daun-kesom-spring-rolls-i-ate-best-ever.html

Burmese Salad, a special thank to my Burmese neighbor who taught me how to prepare this dish.

Ingredients

Quarter unripe big green papaya, peel off skin, shredded the papaya (big or small up to one's preference)

One potatoes, cut into thin small pieces, boil 

Vermicelli, soak then boil

Give both of them a cold bath

Half big onion cut into rings, deep fried in the oil until brown and crispy, (Optional to add small dried prawns); use both oil (up to one's wish), crispy onion and crispy small dried prawns

Soy bean fried and prepared to grind into fine powder, need two big tablespoons

Cilandro leaves for garnishing

A  lemon

Two spoons (use big serving spoon) of fish sauce

Mix all of them together, can mash the potatoes slightly (opt)

ECONOMICAL WAY OF DECORATING A HOUSE

Including its half-done kitchen left by its deceased first owner!

Have you ever thought of placing a dishwasher at 
this kind of 90 degrees corner,on the top of 
kitchen counter top and next to the dish basin?

Written by Miss Yellow

A decade ago, nobody wanted to buy my current house, and I heard it that it was vacant for 8 years by a big takau before my little family moved in.  
   Initially I got to dust the long vacant house like 5 times a day, I always wondered if any Kuching folks gossiped that my long vacant house got antu or not! Even if it got some before, but I think once my two noisy “monkeys” moving in with their virago-mom, the high decibels could close the access gaps of 11th dimension to our earthy realm!

   Soon my visitors saying they regretted they didn’t buy it, all because they hesitated to see the house which only got two bedrooms, in their midst of hesitating they also not realizing Kuching property in good areas were kept rising every year, my house now has most probably raised for a double since we first moved in 5 years ago.

Many poor housewives would understand what I am talking: After purchased a house, even you have the shell you won’t have an interior. I was left penniless to decorate my house by Mr. Money, but luckily I still carried my long distance career and business initially for a year before I sold them off. Sarcastically enough I once got such optimistic opinion planned to act my role as a full time happy housewife!

   Initially when I moved in the newly moved-in house, I only had a dustbin; it collected every kind of rubbish!! My friend from another city came to visit me at the same time she brought along a very wealthy businessman’s native wife, I could detect her snub when she couldn’t find a dustbin in the toilet, she didn’t realize not every housewife could afford many dustbins, when I visited her new mansion, I could tell money for her was never a problem, she even has more animal-toilets for her pets than my toilets!

   What she looked for was the spiritual peace of how to get to heaven, for me 4 letter foul words always could come out of my mouth in my daily frustrated encountering, the path for gold mine and heaven both look heavenly distance from my current life style!

   From my knowledge, only less than 5% of our Malaysian housewives don’t need to worry much about money to buy household accessories when they move in a new house!

Few things you have to bear in mind if you are not a filthy rich housewife but you have a small house that you plan to keep, always remember cozy feel of a house is above all, you make your guests felt welcomed and comfortable in your house, a house is NOT to show off to people of your filthy wealth and how big was your mansion, how nice and expensive your household accessories, your show off actually could make your inferior visitors felt of how insufficient and poor they were.

   A house is a place where your respective visitors would respect of your through decades of hard-earning collections but not within a few months time!

   A house is also a place, where friends could learn and benefits from an older and wiser host or hostess.

(1) You can afford to wait, even for 4 years like me. Don’t buy inferior furniture, think of hard wood furniture only. You collect the furniture in such a way a piece after another, perhaps only once every 4 months once, up to current date, my living room doesn’t have a sofa set yet!

(2) Don’t look for a modern style home, now is modern how about twenty years later? So think of classic or country style or unless it is a prize-winning architect-designed house. But if you can’t avoid, then be very imaginative and creative to decorate or renovate both its interior and exterior to suit and cater your current living styles, needs and standard.

(3) Learn to match your house, e.g. don’t mix a modern architectural design with country furniture and with elaborated classic style curtains with weird color.

(4) Unless you are super rich and have a big mansion, or else don’t need to waste your space and money for two wet and dry kitchens, this is Malaysia and if you are Chinese-Malaysians who love to cook, then design your outdoor yet “heavy rain-proof” Chinese-Malaysian style kitchen.

(5) Don’t mix family room with living room, for small house you can combine your family room as TV room, library and computer room or even guest room.
(6) Don’t waste your money to decorate children rooms with children theme, unless you are rich and free enough to keep changing theme with them along their growing stages, how about one day if they leave the house and go studying overseas?

(7) Have an enclosed (or partially) car port, where you can make it as an extra storage/tools room.

(8) Decorate your house with characteristic which is feasible and practical for your daily life style, interest and hobbies, but not copying your design here and there from interior design magazines, but where you can always gain tips and inspiration from.
(9) Master bedroom must have a walk-in toilet and shower, drawer, exhaust fan (optional), chest, bedside tables, table lamps, long mirror, wardrobe, standing lamps, fans and (opt. air-condition), blind (or thin curtain) and thick dark curtain, kartini bench, sofa (sleeping sofa, study desk, little table, TV and Video (Optional), mini bar (Optional: Only suggest it if your kitchen is on the ground floor). Use a single plan color bed sheet, quilt cover (silk is better than cotton and down) and pillow cases. Always decorate your bedroom cozier and “tastier” than a hotel room, or else don’t blame your husband and children who prefer hotel stay than at home!

(10) Buy only hardwood beds and good mattress like I would suggest Slumberland brand (You won’t regret, as it is affordable yet comfortable for your back, wait for its promotion)

(11) Buy some vintage/Persian rugs, runners and paintings for floor and wall decorating. I once came across a big mansion, it was decorated with all kinds of expensive accessories but dissappointedly I didn’t find any Persian rugs on the floor nor any painting on the wall!

http://artistarwenjellow.blogspot.com/

(12) Lastly, your walls need skirting!

(13) Don’t paint your house too dark, too colorful or too many themes!
(14) Garden needs rare fruit trees, rare flowers, rare herbs and rare vegetables in “rojak-style”.

(15) If affordable always buy a few dehumidifier and ionizer for your house, turn them on especially when you are absented from the house for a long term or during rainy days.

(16) Try to use neutral color theme for your house, don’t ask a man or a boy to stay in a little pinky house.

(17) Don’t abuse yourself as a modern days housewife; buy a dish dryer for daily use and a dishwasher for after party or feast. When I requested my husband for a dishwasher few years ago, he asked me, “Do you open a Chinese restaurant?” and my “China-woman mom” would ask me, “Why so lazy?” Few Chinaman-husbands would help their wives to wash dirty dishes, they also wouldn’t buy dishwasher for you, so I buy it with my own money, because I have not work for more than 4 years now, situation forced and trained into a bargainer, I searched through the whole city and was lucky enough to run into a showroom unit with 50% discount.

(18) Don’t build a wooden kitchen, unless you use hard wood, you always can consider stainless steel and aluminum kitchen. I waited for more than 4 years paying from my own pocket to renovate my kitchen (which was half done by previous owner when I moved in the house).

Be very flexible especially you have limited budget, it was my hard earned money, e.g. I won’t change the 20 over years gas stove and hood left by the previous owner, I didn’t demolished the whole kitchen counter top just because the previous owner half-done kitchen counter top was built lower than standard height, resulted in no dishwasher could fit in. For that reasons I read over many articles from professional chefs and gone through thousands of kitchen photos to look for the best place to fit in my dishwasher in my ultra-small kitchen and to decide a very personalized kitchen for myself, especially I have so many kitchen utensils.

http://starcraftcustombuilders.com/kitchen.commercial.htm

A NEW YEAR GIFT FOR MYSELF WAS TO FIX UP THE UNDONE KITCHEN FROM MY OWN HARD SAVING IN A STRICT BUDGET!

Since day one I moved into this house, for years I used induction stove, thus more than three Kenwood induction stoves were damaged within the 4 years, recently I bought a Empress induction stove from Cosway and a Morgan Halogen stove from Chin Hup Hing, just in case when gas runs out, or when I need to cook Chinese foods I can use them, for more than 4 years I used to cook outside the kitchen porch counter top, initially I couldn't use this kitchen and its stove, until a gas compartment was constructed right outside the kitchen during  year end of 2012. Remember you must use a safe lock for your gas tank, buy the Italian brand safe lock which cost something like RM80+, I bought it from Chin Hup Hing 082: 331848

I put cooking pots, woks and pans at the top tier counter where I can see all and within the reach of my height.

The lower tiers are made up of tempered glass, my kitchen contractor told me it's his first case in Kuching.

I didn' t change my 20 years old stove and hood left by the deceased owner, thus I can only do western cooking in this kitchen.

Beside the stove the expensive microwave oven was a gift from my old classmate Au Au and his wife, and after having it for more than 2 years I only learned how to use it partially and found it was excellent to "bake-steam" a successful Christmas turkey! Just recently I bought a conventional fujihome oven which cost a thousand ringgit less than it, but I left it outside the kitchen porch, as I don't want a heat "infested" kitchen when I bake!

My stainless steel kitchen, aluminium shoes shelve, counter shelves and oven cabinet shelve was done by:

CH Kitchen (S) Sdn Bhd,

Lot 54, No 99, Grd flr,

Jln Sekama, Kuching. 

email: chkitchen300@hotmail.,com 

HP: 0168866090    (Mr. Ling)

My stainless steel kitchen was drawn by CH kitchen designer Ms. Wong

This big jermuda fruit tree chopboard is my island (cost RM40) with bileng hardwood legs (Cost RM100+),  it was made by a Taiwan trained chef from Sarikei, the Ikea ladder stood next to it is within my reach to climb up top tier counter top to collect some big pots!

 T

 Ever thought of placing the dishwasher next to the washing basins and in the 90 degrees corner? I never found one in the kitchen design magazine!

See the thin curtain? I have them as the mosquitoes netting all over the windows in the house, and cost me less than RM300 (fabric cost less than RM100, elastic wire and seintress cost barely RM100+) for the whole house 13 big, small, long and short windows! It already lasted for more than 4 years now! Could be washed easier than the conventional window netting!

I am very happy with my own idea, first I didn't need to demolish the countertop (with original stainless steel fringe) which is lower than standard kitchen counter top height, secondly the most useless corner in the kitchen now is occupied by it without a space being wasted in this case. Thirdly, my dish basin is next to it, I can drain my dirty plates before loading them to dishwasher for washing. Fourthly, it is next to the cutlery drawer. Lastly, I don't need to bend my back and neither need to raise my head up when loading and unloading my dirty or cleaned dishes!

 My cutlery set tray drawer, CH Kitchen Mr. Ling tried to find one fitted into the stainless steel drawer exactly and I also like the color he chose for it.

These were my older accessories collected one after another since many years back from an oil town, the regular teak wood console table I bought it in Kuching from Casa Reka, but I converted it, see those pans I hanged under it? Inside the drawer I store those aluminium, plastic foils and other extra accessories. See the dish dryer on its counter top, when I didn't have many plates, I hand washed and dried those plates in there.

If you have an ultra small kitchen, be brave like me, think of something different from stereo type design and ideas! You won't regret! I think if I am not a jobless $ tai tai, I wouldn't have moved my brain in a hard way to save money and get the most out of the money I spent on!

Married  A Badly Indebted Chinaman Husband Unknowingly!

You would be ended up in deep shits too!

Written by Miss Yellow

Advice for unmarried girls

1. Not ashamed of yourself to find out your future husband’s financial situation, no bank wants to loan its money or issuing a credit card to a badly indebted man. (He would find all sorts of excuses e.g. explaining to you why he didn’t owe a credit card, most of the time he blamed for his own kindness due to extending his help to his “bad friends” who didn’t pay their loans to the bank, thus as a guarantor, he got black listed! This is enough to proof that he is a stupid person! And you are either too stupid or naive if you believed his explanation!)

2. If you are from a better background, don’t get fooled by a trap set up by him, his family members or even his friends, check the credential of a family’s background, when you got married, you also automatically married into his family. To upgrade and change their living standard, conflicts between religion and feudal practices and believes would be really tough!

3. Family background in education, interest, cultivation and religion must be equally standing

4. Most Chinese families abide the laws that would hide everything unpleasant from outsiders; they only said good things about their own family, 家丑不可外杨. Those good things they bragged you should only count for 10% accuracy!

5. If you are from a better family background, including the match-makers would pester the man to sleep with you in order to make you rush into a wedding!

6. Don’t be too sure of your most respected person’s advice, e.g. your dad, he could be a very well known and respected educator, but unbelievably a very naive person regarding how to find a good husband for his daughter, for some fathers, as long as a man got a penis then he is considered as a good man!!

7. Older generation simple minded and lacked exposure naive parents never taught their daughters how to look for a husband, they felt that once they were both poor, thus they wished that their daughters not to get married into a rich family, they worried their daughters would be bullied by rich people, but they never thought the other opposite way could happen too, if their daughters got married to a very poor, less uncultivated and educated family, she could be an item under abused too!

There are two kinds of person that a GOOD MAN should never borrow money from, loan shark or your own sibling, because someone eventually would show to the bad man’s wife asking directly or hinting indirectly that she also owes the responsible to return her naughty husband’s bad debts even it was debts incurred before the marriage!

   Stereo type Chinese family has a common problem, when an aging sibling in a family was not married, the family member would pressure him to get married, even he was full of bad debts, the family member would be the culprits to fool the future sister-in-law to fall into the marriage trap, they all thought that after married, the unmarried naughty brother would get settled down, he would become a more responsible man due to his wife's "good" influence.

   But when the situation was not success, when old dog doesn't learn new tricks, they would blame his naive wife; soon the creditor-brother’s wife would show up the door-steps of the debtor’s wife pressuring or pursuing after her!

Now imagine this, how about the poor wife learned the husband owes so much bad debt to his siblings only after married him for 10 years? It was happened only after selling off her business like 80% cheap sales and 10 months later only a more humane aging eldest creditor-sibling began to reveal her of what had happened of her husband's bad debts?

   Whose fault was that? What did her husband, her husband's siblings and sisters-in-law and mother-in-law did to actually a prominent professional from a city but ended up ruining her hard earned prominent career to beome a jobless tai tai in another strange city just because of her wrong marriage into a wrong family? Who were selfish, self-centered and thoughtless?

   Why? A woman could experience heart wrenching ache and depression, when this kind of money affair conflicts between her husband and his family members inflicted her , they  dragged her in ..... usually would happen just right before or right on Chinese new year, because it is the time most kinds of money transactions involved, it was the time people need most money to spend for Chinese New Year, and it was the time debtors should return if not whole sum, but at least a portion of debts to their creditors.

When she began to question her husband, he would tell her the same answer all the time, “This is my siblings matter, don’t you dare to involve in it!”

'But then I was forced to get involved?'

'I told you not to tell anyone of my family that we would be going away during Chinese New Year!'

'Yes, I tried to avoid it when your sister-in-law SMS me, but for god sake …. Past 4 years, she never visited me but she showed up our doorsteps with gifts, I thought she was sincere!'

'I told you not to tell anyone of my family that we would be going away …..'

'Now I know why! You owe them so much debt that they want you to return them money not to use their money to enjoy yourself got it?!'

'I told you that are my family matter, you shouldn’t get involved.'

'What’s the intention of your sister-in-law then? I thought that I could trust her when she showed up my doorsteps, so I revealed to her where we would be heading during Chinese New Year, I even told her that she shouldn’t reveal to anyone… it was just between she and me!!!'

'I told you not to tell anyone in my family right? What you did could cause our brothers to have another big fight again' When you and your brothers were ffighting? Shit, you blamed me that I would instigate fights amongst your siblings again?

‘You shouldn’t owe money to your siblings for too long without returning them any dime, you are a bit too much…… they would blame me, they thought you spend money on me when I went for travelling but those money actually were mine and my family’!!! How did I know that I can’t trust your sister-in-law? I thought as a doctor’s wife, she should be a very trustable person like my sister! She thought that you can’t be trusted, as I am your wife, I am also as unreliable as you???!!!! That’s why we are still together! Dammm… you know how hard, how patient, how tolerated I have to maintain this marriage?!’ The frustrated angry wife began to scream. She decided she would never trust her trouble making sister-in-law again, how could her sister-in-law didn’t trust her when she told her they would be heading to G city, and why she deliberately “reconfirmed” with her husband again during a pre Chinese New Year eve family dinner? Her sister-in-law didn’t care if she got scored by her hubby! Her sister-in-law didn’t care the trouble couple would involve a big fight. Creditors are always right! Why God let me unknowingly became a debtor’s wife???!!! God is really unfair to me after I got married!

‘How can you trust a X Msian girl? I told you not to reveal them any of our travelling!’

‘So that include my own and kids’ travelling out of my parents’ pockets, siblings’ pockets or from my own hard savings? Don’t tell me again that’s your problem between you and your siblings ….. or your own family matter, their actions hinted me enough that I have to pay for your bad debts, or else I have to suffer like you too right?! Even go out of Sarawak but we have to creep like a thief?! Shouldn’t let your family members know it!? You were spending on their expense, not me, your sibling and family members actually owe me an apology of why they kept quiet that you were on bad debts before I married you? In short, who was the stupid girl would marry a badly indebted man?’

‘Aye, I am doing business, which businessman on earth don’t owe money to their family members or to the bank? If you keep blowing your trumpet to your friends, how can I do my business anymore? Everyone will know that I am poor, they won’t dare to do business with me!’ Oh yeah… that’s what my Chinawomen mom and sibling advice too, they all like him……. I always like Lee Guan Yew’s words with intellectual excitement, he said China though has so many people yet technology wise still can’t beat USA, due to their differ in thinking, what thinking? Now I know …. Chinamen and "Chinawomen" kind of thinking "lah"!!!! They all treat their husbands, as heaven or demi-god, if a girl didn’t marry to a good man, she becomes a subject to get abused…. My sister-in-law who probably thought that she marries well due to she was smart, and she must think that I was stupid that why I married to a badly indebted man,I better watch out someone has just began to jump over my side of bridge to bully me! But think twice, I am no dub……………even If you are X-Msian I am cosmopolitan! I am just not interested in childish hens’ fight! If I could avoid you next time, I will forever do it!

‘Your sister-in-law is too daring, I am just your wife, she has a rich husband to limp on the minute she married him, But I don’t! But that don’t mean that I am responsible to pay your own bad debts incurred before I married you, I can’t influence your stubborn thought, but neither can you influence my self-pride as once a self-sufficient happy professional career woman! Old dogs don't learn new tricks OK?! Please don't expect me to turn into a "Chinawoman" to pay your bad debts!’

‘I told you not to reveal it to them right?' Shit, you dare to argue with a husband, I won’t give you any Chinese new year ang now, let me see how fierce you can bitch on!

It was like roundtable clock, the argument still back to 12’ O Clock eventually! This kind of Chinaman born into as the youngest in a family were usually spoilt badly by their mom and elderly brothers and sisters, I dub them as siaw bai di “小白弟” who are always keen to take advantage of their elderly family members, If you unknowingly married to one of this kind, their family members soon expected his wife to responsible for his debts too … he thus becomes a siaw bai rien 小白脸(gigolo)!