HOW FREE ARE MALAYSIAN-HOUSEWIVES?

In Australia they call housewives as homemakers….

Written by Money Tai Tai

I worked since 15 years old, working part-time became my habit since form 2 to including studied all over universities in different countries. Then when I graduated to earn my degree, immediately I commenced my full-booming work!

   To quit my job acting as a housewife was my dream, it was not because I thought becoming a housewife would be freer, to “make unfair remarks on other housewives” or “acting on behalf of other housewives’ minds” was and is not my interest, it actually didn’t come to my busy mind. 

   Only these days I realized most full-time housewives actually were subjected under long-term emotional battered of being not financially independent, thus they were controlled under the thumb of their chauvinistic husbands.

  

Smart women would keep encouraging and aiming their daughters grow up to become professionals but stupid women would abuse their own daughters, only put their concentration on sons. Actually it is more important to educate daughters for higher studies than sons when you have chauvinistic husbands-in-residence! Those inheritances would go to your sons not your daughters, if you are a smart woman then trying to squeeze as much money from your daughter’s dad to send your daughter to college, that would actually path her a good future  and in return, earn you worried-free next half life, especially if she turns into a doctor. Even if she got divorce, she wouldn’t return home asking you “old mom” to feed her and her kids!

   

   I experienced such “comedy episode” of a proud housewife-mommy recently, I called my long-lost contact student’s mother asked her where about was her daughter, she proudly told me, ‘She is a doctor now, she just passed her GP, do you know what is GP?’ Then I patiently let her explained the term GP to me, I was simply amused.

   

   I would advise all housewives, even though you didn’t get any chance to attend higher education after your secondary school studies, but you must READ profoundly, or else one day when your daughter becomes a doctor you would think the rest of women were ignorant (like you) except your daughter now is “highly educated.”

   

   Unluckily I also “bounced” into another kind of “ghost-like” devil-mom who never likes to read, not even newspapers! She would treat any of her child’s classmates or teachers as a future imaginary enemy. 

   This kind of devil-moms got high ego to train their “as highly ego talented kids” to become somebody famous, they became "notorious"  as  they always would defame their kids' “potential rivals”, they would do something ingratitude to their imaginary enemies, usually the little child  of theirs would act quicker than the hypocrite mother, he/she would soon “unfriend” his/her teacher, while the hypocrite mom still keeps “acting polite” to their kid's teacher.

   

   I began to notice a young part-time students of mine (came lessons with me for only three times) particularly due to her most ingratitude behavior (in my entire teaching life), I discovered she "unfriended" me when I wanted to send some documents to help her via her facebook, then I only found that out since when, I really have no idea she had already "unfriended" me in her facebook, I wouldn’t have mind if she has 100 friends if she "unfriended" me, but she has more than 500 friends, and yet she would "unfriend" me! 

   I later learned that both her mom and the little daughter of hers didn’t like my corrections or making any other suggestions. As a teacher if I kept giving positive comments but without making any correction on students' problems then why I have to teach? I also noticed this kind of mothers when they have a quite talented kid they began to act bossy, they would flatter how talented their kids to even a stranger but wouldn’t allow any criticism from any people/teacher, or else they would immediately defame and fire that person/teacher, yet in front of those teachers they would say act how appreciate and grateful! Why you think a child who was only 12 could do that to her teacher while her mom would continuously calling her daughter’s teacher pretentiously flattering her!!!???

My thought of quitting my job after I got married was because I thought since I was getting so old to get married to have babies, I should quit my job. As during my working three decades as a teacher I could see those little “monsters” could turn into “angels” the minute they saw their professional doctor or lawyer moms arrived my doorsteps, ‘Hey mom!’ The sweetest angelic voices resonance in my ears up to these days! 

   Soon their mom would bring them enjoying nicest dinner and shopping to buy newest toys in town, I could tell those BUSY professional mommies were feeling guilty (remember it only happened to those very busy professional moms, once happened to me too) that their children were often neglected, so often by using material things to comfort and tame the “monsters” they felt it was fair to both kids and themselves too!

   

   This was just life, nothing went wrong, thanks god that all these kids after two decades now they still became lawyers or doctors like their moms! These kids grow-up still as lovely, they still would visit me whenever they came to Meow city. I think these kids with professional mothers never would treat me as a “role-model or future rival” to challenge their undertakings, their own professional mother would be their role model … They wouldn't act like other kids to make sure one day when they graduated from college, they would earn more money, dress up prettier, buy better branded things, cook better, eat better, have better professions than once their respected role model or once their challenged imaginary future rival. 

   Good gratitude kids who grow older would usually appreciate my encouragements and my “cherish” extended to them, in short, I expected them to do better than me like I wish at my daguhter. These kids were the ones who would still look up for me even they have become professionals but those ingratitude ones would pose the altitude, "HEHEHEHEE... NOW I AM BETTER THAN YOU! I WON!"

Mr. Money agreed that I could quit my job, now I only realized he had to agree or else I wouldn’t have married him and have his babies, that’s one of his hook and the “crooks” revealed when the household expenses came to me almost the end of some months and when his brother’s wife came to visit me told me how much debt he owes his family members. 

   When I quitted my job, a Datin would even admire my “free-from-job" new status, she would often “check” my "jobless tai tai  lifestyle" from my parents, ‘She has good life without working!’ she mentioned it often to my parents. 

   Until one day my mom retaliated, ‘Jobless but still with pocket full of money, only a woman like you will have good life!’ This Datin actually acts humble like any other Malaysian-housewives when she stays in the oil city, she didn’t have any maid but have to cook meals for her family, so she probably thought that I would act like her other friends... tai tai with two or three maids in the house helping or her "real Datin's lifestyle" in Beijing or KL!

   

This is my monotonous lifestyle after I become a housewife, see if you  want to quit your good job after being married to a man!!! (Remember, don't quit unless you only earn RM1000/month but he can produce you RM10,000/month. If you earn RM10,000++ but he could only give you RM5000, then you should never quit your job!)

   I got up at 5:45am, immediately I have to prepare breakfast for next thirty minutes (Thanks God that I have fast dexterities), to prepare my children’s breakfast, packed their refreshment boxes and filled up their water bottles. Then I would take a quick shower, changed and put up make-up (remember there are not many natural beauties but there are many lazy women!), by 6:30-45am, we are on the road. By the time reached home it would be around 7:15am, immediately I collected my newspaper, put the dirty clothes in the laundry, eat my breakfast while reading newspaper, once done I have to wash dishes, clean the house (only pick a place to clean in a day), then I have to water the plants in the garden, soon I have to hang out the clothes under the sun. By the time I would be sweat all over, when I turn on the air condition to sit on the desk starting my writing, I found out it’s coming to 10 soon, my pretty “assistant” from next street comes, she helps me to correct grammar of my written books (not these blog articles), next two hours we both don’t want to be disturbed, but soon my alarm service man, plumber, pest control or electrician would hop in some of the mornings.

   

   Breakfast out with friends? I really don’t like it, because it means my household works will be delayed, and something would not be done. Telephone calls from friends to gossip? I also don’t like it, because I would talk to my friend, then suddenly I had forgotten what I told her the previous sentence when I saw the dirty floor accidentally! By 1:00pm, like most mothers I have to go picked up my children. 

   I will continue my story to let those idly but financially sounded career women or housewives who think on my behalf that I must be very free , I will soon let them know what I would do in the afternoon and evening before I went to sleep! 

   Never ever make mean remarks to other housewives who battered by their husbands financially, especially if those ladies don’t even have a maid at home or even a husband present at home 3 days in a month! Worst, their kids are still young, who can’t help their mommy even to vacuum the floor yet!