WHO SAID THAT I AM A BIPOLAR?!!!
ARE THEY REALLY A BIPOLAR OR SIMPLY THEY COULDN’T CONTROL THEIR OWN STUCKED-UP BAD HABITS?
Americans’ education system thinks that kids shouldn’t be canned.
Chinese-Malaysians still can their improperly behaved young kids.
Will kids without canned grow up without any “conditioned” of inner-voice of “No” (Recall the painful ass)?
I know there is other group of so called “over abused Chinese kids” is so afraid of almost everything when they grow up, because whenever they thought of binging, taking drugs or telling lies, they could hear the voice “no” and felt the imaginary ass in heaty pain!!!
Written by Money Tai Tai
When I was young, I got canned the most amongst the sibling, because I was very tomboy, full of new playing creative ideas and didn’t know what was called studying hard. I realized that even though I have very rebellious and creative blood running in my veins, thus my fates also gave me all sorts of adversities over emotional life, but when I grow older I am the one amongst the sibling who actually has the most control over tumors and bad fates
I usually noticed many weak Chinese women when they got bullied and beaten up by their China-man hubbies, they would keep quiet, they were afraid to tell another China-women, because they were afraid another China- women would laugh and further on bully them. Bullied women bullied by another group of woman-bullies, the episodes are like the soap operas. When China-women got frustrated, I noticed a lot of them drank by themselves, mild one would take coke or beer, but most of them would take wine, initially they drank a bit, years after years, they actually became an alcoholic without their awareness.
Whereas when I got depressed, I found that I became very constructive, I did paintings, I learned music or I did gardening. I couldn’t drink despite I love to see wines displayed in my house, and there were few cans of beer in my refrigerator kept untouched for more than two years already!
How I handle bullies, despair, insomnia and stress? I painted these two paintings which I promised my old friend since three years ago for her daughters on occasion of her house warming. I think we should all handled any stress and despair constructively instead of like most unthoughtful women handle stress and depressions would turn themselves into bullies, “sister-bullies”.
When you feel your own spouse, sisters and parents (All of them could be hardly saw or stay with you) were doing something unethical and inhuman arrangement for you, they would try to convince you that they did the right thing to you. I have been having ‘incurable’ flu since after Chinese New Year, with occasionally experienced swollen body and jaw pains, but for a month already, if my family members and spouse really cares for me, why they didn’t know I was and I am sick even up to present moment? Definitely from this point onwards I would never ever trust my closest kindred and even some friends when they poured oil on fire. Once beaten twice shy!
I think that we should live with occasional temperament, why we human beings shouldn’t allow to show tears (because it shows weakness?), shouldn’t allow to show temper (because it shows one has no control?” and shouldn’t allow to show you are not happy? Just because I am not happy, that happy need to be elevated by taking drugs to make me happy, it doesn’t make sense to me!! Send me RM500 will make me happier and I think is healthier than giving me those antidepressant drug to elevate happy mood to so called “calamity”!!! To take the antidepressant won’t change the facts that the situation of unhappiness is never changed!!! It is better to prepare calling for a divorce of an unhappy marriage or for a husband to realize that he has suffocating his talented wife who loves of music and arts but since the day she married him, he never even cares of her well being, he never sees any important of bringing her to a music concert, and he never even realize his and her expectation of living standard in materialistic ways are so different!
Either women or men who got stressed up and needed drinks to “drug” their “clear senses” were usually weak and unconditioned by a “condition” trained and conditioned since young days, I found out weaker minds (usually got beaten up less by my parents) when they got frustrated would turn either into bullies to other free-spirit sibling or simply exercise their secret stress-out-burst activities like shopping spree (they themselves or hubbies are simply rich enough for them to spend lavishly) or confine into drinking.
And ridiculous enough, nobody would think that their kinds of behaviors were not considered as stressed, frustrated or “bipolar”!!
Weird enough, I found out sibling love to partner up with another few siblings to form a coup, the strong minded sibling would expect another sister wear the same outfit like her. Before I got married, I would wear boots, mini-skirts and I always put heavy made-up, whenever some sibling saw me (the most once a year) they would line up outside the house to welcome me home with dancing and songs like a Philippines’ music band showgirls, I was not that stupid, they denoted I was dressed up like a Pilipino pub singer.
When they were not quick in brain to adjust a new outfit, fashion, or any new ideas, they would think that I was a weird person. They would assume that I was a depressed person and now they simply decided that I am a bi-polar! They would be so cooperative and efficient when planning these kind of "treats and tricks", they would book a free air-ticket without informing me in advance but instead would try to convince Mr. Money that his wife is a bipolar victim needs to be under diagnosed and observations!! So when I screamed at them that they didn’t give any human right or respect as a sibling to me (I will be 50 soon!!) the victim who wanted to find a partner would show up in my house made a scene, I would scream and that really turned me into a BIPOLAR!!! He simply wanted to find another bi-polar partner, “I am too lonely”, let’s eat the antidepressant together!
I prayed to God to give me a good husband when almost everyone of my sibling already walked into the Church aisle, they didn’t accept me because I was different in an extend that my younger sister would tell me this when I visited her in Singapore, “You know I don’t treat you like an elder sister, do you know that?” So I tried to do something similar to them to please them, including found a husband who is their secondary school and university friends under my younger sisters' disposal as Kai Zi for free meals but they were not interested in him! I wonder why these two younger sisters especially would response to me in such an extreme whenever I made noises about Mr. Money to them personally?!!) They have nothing to lost but eventually I lost everything, my career, my hobbies, my freedom, my ambitions and my high expectation of standard of living! Parents, husband and Sibling’s disapproval made me lost the faith in God, I lost cool and dared enough to point middle finger (now all Christians would be my enemies!) to the air and lost my will to live if without limited friendships supported me through difficult times. When did my sibling call and ask my well-beings when I moved to Kuching, did they know that the first day I reached Kuching I was sleeping on the floor and there was not even a single furniture and kitchen utensil in the new home, did they know that my husband just left me alone on the second day with the two little kids where I didn’t know where the head or tail of Kuching, and I was marrying to an engineer yet without any high tech sense, of course I didn’t have a GPS.
So immediately after the American Ang Mo BIL left the house with his luggage, the neighboring security guard who didn’t understand a single English word, except “FUCK” got very interested and “sweetly” approached me, “Hey…. Mui Mui, apa har….?” Or he would even try to notify me when the fisherman light outside the house was blinking, when he turned into so attentive and kind of what’s going on in my house whenever his own neighbor across the street got thief broke into the house I was the one who showed up the scene not him who works as a security guard? Of course I threw him the sternest eyes I would ever produce in my life!
Everyone when they don’t have their own life to run, they turn into a control fret and they want to run other people’s life!!! Of course I turned into ballistic when someone simply assume or predict that I have a bipolar symptom, I called to the old mum made a fuss, she made a fuss by crying day and night to the rest of her daughters available to listen to her, the stories twisted and I became a real bipolar! Of course in this case Mr. Money would join the United Nation, but his two little monies who always gave me headache suddenly purred in front of me when Ang Mo uncle left the house, because I threatened them from that day onwards if they gave me difficult time, I showed them how sharp was the Henkel’s knife on my throat if I use it to cut down my throat, as when I showed them rottan can, they could tell it couldn’t use to kill anyone! When and why life became so violent? Why stupid family members couldn’t leave my aside? If they are so kind, send me money when they see me jobless instead of sent me free air-ticket suggesting me for bipolar symptom diagnosis!
You probably never experience like me in a point that, when everyone in the family and including my husband when their thoughts and views of life are differently from I, and because of that differences, even though I accepted them, but they were the one who couldn’t accept what I am by making such an extend saying I am a bipolar (I overemphasize this bipolar word like what someone did that to me). If I don’t have a strong will and strong conditioned condition, I would already let them controlling my life like a goat bringing for slaughter!
I remember I always dressed up nice, so one of my siblings would tell me off, “You are married, where the man would look at you dressing up?” Did I dress up for a man? Shits dub! I dressed up for my own and then I felt good! In other word, now I wonder were my sibling dressed up for men not for themselves to look neat and proper? Only many years later, after married I became jobless, to avoid conflict I tried to compromise my sibling's way of dressing code to her when I visited her (I only aware the psychology behind it: they expect me to wear my clothes and shoes and cut my hair even the same like them in order to please their narrow minded ………….. lamented that they couldn’t stand other fashion and styles beyond their comprehension!)
Happened that the smartest sibling’s brain finally crack-opened probably after she frequently went through other people‘s life and dead torments, she realized that life is short, shouldn’t act stingy anymore! What a surprise when she asked me, “Why didn’t dress-up like you used to be? Instead now you look so fat and undressed?” Although her brain is crack-opened but she is still very insensitive, don’t you know I don’t have a job and a husband who could afford me to buy new dress, new handbag and new shoes? I was not a single professional lady anymore who could lavish whatever I earned!
Chinese saying if you don’t like it don’t give it to others, I was asked to eliminate whatever I wrote in the facebook about the incident just because Ang Mo BIL said he needs to fly, and his record shouldn’t show that he is a bipolar, so it proofs how insensitive the couple is!! They shouldn't leave any bad record in their medical history, but I can and actually I was blackmailed by them to receive such treatment and record, I know there are many others who are the real victims but were not treated just because they shut up their mouths! They have money to learn to play golf and learn how to fly, but they never even in aware that I have not been in travelling since the day I got married! They would tell me the staff in their company is paid RM3000/month and live so well, why if my husband gives me the same amount yet I don’t have enough to spend. Why they didn't ask me how much more than this RM3000 I earned before I married my husband? In short, they are special race on this earth that they can live like a royalty but people who are born low should subject to satisfaction of what God gives them!! So God is truly very unfair, except every mankind has to die!
They could blackmail me to Singapore Mr. E Stress ward locked up with those screaming ladies who wanted to take off their clothes or some men who would talk by themselves over the breakfast table and there was a young man came an extend looking into my face when I first woke up! Imagine the consequence of a strong dose of antidepressant being injected to my ass if I screamed and protested when they first took away my HP, handbag and passport (they didn’t notify me that I would be checked in Stress Ward to be under observation if I was a depression victim, in this case as always there was another sibling who would act as an 'accessory' in assisting the plot! So after three days I was still bleeding with a month old 'baby' in my tummy only by then they were convinced enough to bring me to see an in-house Mt. E gynaecologist) When I was diagnosed by a China-man psychiatrist, of course I would be treated as depression person, but when I got diagnosed by Ang Mo psychiatrist, I was told as I have very Ang Mo thinking so my sibling would think that I am abnormal. So who is abnormal, selfish or inflexible? In short, they can't have bad medical record but I can have it!! I am waiting for the next round of another inhuman arrangement, I am anticipating some busy bodies one day to arrange also a bipolar diagnosis observation for my son, because my "abnormal" kids (to those holy aunties) learn how to swear “Fxxk You!” from me, and my son would irritate them by putting the logo as SHITS, he knew how to get attention from his ultra-holy EEs!!!
They could blackmail me to Singapore Mr. E Stress ward locked up with those screaming ladies who wanted to take off their clothes or some men who would talk by themselves over the breakfast table and there was a young man came an extend looking into my face when I first woke up! Imagine the consequence of a strong dose of antidepressant being injected to my ass if I screamed and protested when they first took away my HP, handbag and passport (they didn’t notify me that I would be checked in Stress Ward to be under observation if I was a depression victim, in this case as always there was another sibling who would act as an 'accessory' in assisting the plot! So after three days I was still bleeding with a month old 'baby' in my tummy only by then they were convinced enough to bring me to see an in-house Mt. E gynaecologist) When I was diagnosed by a China-man psychiatrist, of course I would be treated as depression person, but when I got diagnosed by Ang Mo psychiatrist, I was told as I have very Ang Mo thinking so my sibling would think that I am abnormal. So who is abnormal, selfish or inflexible? In short, they can't have bad medical record but I can have it!! I am waiting for the next round of another inhuman arrangement, I am anticipating some busy bodies one day to arrange also a bipolar diagnosis observation for my son, because my "abnormal" kids (to those holy aunties) learn how to swear “Fxxk You!” from me, and my son would irritate them by putting the logo as SHITS, he knew how to get attention from his ultra-holy EEs!!!
I would tell those busy bodies in the whole world: Mind your own business! This is what my advice to those narrow-minded-busy-body- insensitive folks!
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