WHEN CHINAMEN BEGIN TO LEARN TO LOVE THEIR WIVES?

So it took 60 to 80 years for Chinamen to learn how to love and respect a wife?

Written by Mrs. Money

I married late but unfortunately jumping into a hopeless Chinaman’s circle, a thing that I can’t get even with my Chinaman husband is he gives me a fixed “salary” without any credit card at all and also excluding extra medical, expensive kindergarten fees and occasional traveling expenses.(In my mind now he was merely a very good rogue tongue salesman to lure me dropping into a coconut shell, then with two baby frogs dragging on my two hind legs unable me to jump. Having his home builds in there, then he jumps in and out the shell up to his wish) So I have not flown to see my parents since I sold off my business two years ago. Then I was given an unwanted 20 over years old car belonged to elder brother, coughing out my blood when I thought angrily I was driving a coupe. Due to the stupid marriage that some narrowed minded clients (worried sick that I stole their hubbies … hi bitches, I never got a lust on your hubbies even up to these days OK?!) and family members (felt ashamed) presssured so nastily. My expectation and living standard was and is very high, yet I quitted my monthly 5 figures businesses due to the sweet promises as he often told me my whole year income was less than his whole month income. Oh ye, he drives a nice car and my mechanic once pondered at my frequent troubled car, “Why he drives a nice car, but gives you this junk?” I shrugged my shoulder in wordless.

The minute I got married, I was framed by his Chinaman-friends who told me 100 reasons and the disadvantages of a wife who shouldn’t involve in her husband’s business; they would give me examples of those ladies (bitches to them) in this cat city who step in their hubby’s businesses. Yet many years later I was so surprised to hear many of them contradicted themselves by flattering a successful contractor’s wife, I was told she puts the “bride’s made up” everyday. In short, she attracts attention whenever she shows up with her flashy new Mercedes and flamboyance outfits, all those old and young contractors all felt so proud to “minum” kopiO with her even in a Kopitiam. And then I was always asked by those Chinamen contractors if I wanted to help this unknown ICI lady (they described her) to sell her over million ringgit houses.

In Mr. Money’s eyes, she is a very nice, kind and helpful lady, I am glad at least I know his real face of what kind and what type of lady he actually admires. So Chinamen actually can be “very flexible” and “very snobbish”, they actually all wanted “Michelle Yeo” kind of wives, she is famous, she has greater exposure, she can sweet talk, smooth talk better than those Chinamen, she can attract instant attention and she has better kind of resources (kantou) that those Chinamen lacked.

Many years ago, I met a head nurse who complaint to me, she told me how a doctor who would never answer any call and would never show up in hospital to attend his patients during his night duty, then I heard that this doctor would talk to the HP to his mistress until he went to sleep why his Ang Mo wife didn’t know what he was talking. Mistresses after mistresses, finally he met his young pretty wife many decades later. Now he brings “Michelle Yeo kind of wife” everywhere with him, who dares to say he was a playboy or irresponsible man?

So it took 60 to 80 years for Chinamen to learn how to love a wife? For the first wife Chinamen married is to meet the traditional expectation, they would bring back the fixed monthly expenses to their first wives and their first wives duty is to take care of children, usually during these yesteryears the Chinamen were not as successful, their wives always got problem to meet untold monthly due that were always unknown to their Chinaman-hubbies as they were seldom at home, the first wives have to please his family members and friends, after many children, the first wives’ health always deteriorated, when they got sick their hubbies were always more than 500KM away, women being felt unloved, bounded and unattended, they felt their lives are meaningless to live longer. With women’s problem after giving birth, worst when they coughed, they got wet pant, yet those playboys and Chinamen got hearts to look for younger version of ladies for pleasure. For Mr. Money's case, he is so humorous, (satire) when his friend asked him if there is any unmarried men available to match a 30 oldish female friend, he would tell him that he needs a second wife. It sounded very humourous to them but when women overheard what Mr. Money said behind me, those ladies wonder if they should give me any respect, since my hubby didn't give me any verbal respect. Men's mindless humours could turn into deadly bloody words to ladies' ears that could bring hurt to their own wives directly.

How could compensate women who sacrificed in bad marriage with unloving husbands who only used and took the first wives for granted to bear children? These kind of Chinamen would hardly bring their first wives to meet their clients, social functions and daily routines, in short the excuses is their wives have to take care of their children or sometimes even their old parents. So only when the first wives kids got older, if first wives asked for divorced or they died, the Chinamen last wives usually are the luckiest ladies on earth, because that’s the time these Chinamen finally learned how to treasure their relationship, true romance and respect to a lady. When Chinamen usually old and crippled on bed or wheelchair, that’s the time they began to quiet down thinking to give some respects to their as equally first old wives, but how many super women could live such a long life being abused for five or six decades under stress, unloved and unattended situations?

I was so sad in one point with one of my cousin: my aunt died many years ago before seeing her son married and daughters graduated from colleges. I was speechless when I received the wedding invitation card without my aunty’s name printed on it, I always wonder, really the deceased person’s name appeared on wedding day can bring bad luck to them? Or they simply thought that since she passed away her name was not necessary to get mentioned. So who was his mother? He didn’t have a mother? So what is the value in this case for me, if I work damn hard, one day when I die earlier, during my son’s wedding, his Chinamen dad thinks that it is inauspicious to put my name in his wedding invitation card but the second wife’s name or his paternal side aunt’s name was mentioned instead?!

Is it worth really for a very exposed and educated woman to get married due to born into a conservative family, living in modern world but pinching under traditional kind of Chinamen’s thumbs. Think twice before you got married locally, be very very brave, willing to give up your good job now, able to sacrify to work as might be at first a waitress in overseas ……. Act before your older age lost that kind of momentum, think of getting an overseas PR, migrated overseas to prevent your parents nagging at you, lest your younger sisters insulted you as not being a role model that you merely acting like her little sister just because you were not married earlier than her. Don’t step the same wrong path like me. (Actually some nasty people out there very happy that I don’t get married to a rich husband!)