HOW FREE ARE MALAYSIAN-HOUSEWIVES?

In Australia they call housewives as homemakers….

Written by Money Tai Tai

I worked since 15 years old, working part-time became my habit since form 2 to including studied all over universities in different countries. Then when I graduated to earn my degree, immediately I commenced my full-booming work!

   To quit my job acting as a housewife was my dream, it was not because I thought becoming a housewife would be freer, to “make unfair remarks on other housewives” or “acting on behalf of other housewives’ minds” was and is not my interest, it actually didn’t come to my busy mind. 

   Only these days I realized most full-time housewives actually were subjected under long-term emotional battered of being not financially independent, thus they were controlled under the thumb of their chauvinistic husbands.

  

Smart women would keep encouraging and aiming their daughters grow up to become professionals but stupid women would abuse their own daughters, only put their concentration on sons. Actually it is more important to educate daughters for higher studies than sons when you have chauvinistic husbands-in-residence! Those inheritances would go to your sons not your daughters, if you are a smart woman then trying to squeeze as much money from your daughter’s dad to send your daughter to college, that would actually path her a good future  and in return, earn you worried-free next half life, especially if she turns into a doctor. Even if she got divorce, she wouldn’t return home asking you “old mom” to feed her and her kids!

   

   I experienced such “comedy episode” of a proud housewife-mommy recently, I called my long-lost contact student’s mother asked her where about was her daughter, she proudly told me, ‘She is a doctor now, she just passed her GP, do you know what is GP?’ Then I patiently let her explained the term GP to me, I was simply amused.

   

   I would advise all housewives, even though you didn’t get any chance to attend higher education after your secondary school studies, but you must READ profoundly, or else one day when your daughter becomes a doctor you would think the rest of women were ignorant (like you) except your daughter now is “highly educated.”

   

   Unluckily I also “bounced” into another kind of “ghost-like” devil-mom who never likes to read, not even newspapers! She would treat any of her child’s classmates or teachers as a future imaginary enemy. 

   This kind of devil-moms got high ego to train their “as highly ego talented kids” to become somebody famous, they became "notorious"  as  they always would defame their kids' “potential rivals”, they would do something ingratitude to their imaginary enemies, usually the little child  of theirs would act quicker than the hypocrite mother, he/she would soon “unfriend” his/her teacher, while the hypocrite mom still keeps “acting polite” to their kid's teacher.

   

   I began to notice a young part-time students of mine (came lessons with me for only three times) particularly due to her most ingratitude behavior (in my entire teaching life), I discovered she "unfriended" me when I wanted to send some documents to help her via her facebook, then I only found that out since when, I really have no idea she had already "unfriended" me in her facebook, I wouldn’t have mind if she has 100 friends if she "unfriended" me, but she has more than 500 friends, and yet she would "unfriend" me! 

   I later learned that both her mom and the little daughter of hers didn’t like my corrections or making any other suggestions. As a teacher if I kept giving positive comments but without making any correction on students' problems then why I have to teach? I also noticed this kind of mothers when they have a quite talented kid they began to act bossy, they would flatter how talented their kids to even a stranger but wouldn’t allow any criticism from any people/teacher, or else they would immediately defame and fire that person/teacher, yet in front of those teachers they would say act how appreciate and grateful! Why you think a child who was only 12 could do that to her teacher while her mom would continuously calling her daughter’s teacher pretentiously flattering her!!!???

My thought of quitting my job after I got married was because I thought since I was getting so old to get married to have babies, I should quit my job. As during my working three decades as a teacher I could see those little “monsters” could turn into “angels” the minute they saw their professional doctor or lawyer moms arrived my doorsteps, ‘Hey mom!’ The sweetest angelic voices resonance in my ears up to these days! 

   Soon their mom would bring them enjoying nicest dinner and shopping to buy newest toys in town, I could tell those BUSY professional mommies were feeling guilty (remember it only happened to those very busy professional moms, once happened to me too) that their children were often neglected, so often by using material things to comfort and tame the “monsters” they felt it was fair to both kids and themselves too!

   

   This was just life, nothing went wrong, thanks god that all these kids after two decades now they still became lawyers or doctors like their moms! These kids grow-up still as lovely, they still would visit me whenever they came to Meow city. I think these kids with professional mothers never would treat me as a “role-model or future rival” to challenge their undertakings, their own professional mother would be their role model … They wouldn't act like other kids to make sure one day when they graduated from college, they would earn more money, dress up prettier, buy better branded things, cook better, eat better, have better professions than once their respected role model or once their challenged imaginary future rival. 

   Good gratitude kids who grow older would usually appreciate my encouragements and my “cherish” extended to them, in short, I expected them to do better than me like I wish at my daguhter. These kids were the ones who would still look up for me even they have become professionals but those ingratitude ones would pose the altitude, "HEHEHEHEE... NOW I AM BETTER THAN YOU! I WON!"

Mr. Money agreed that I could quit my job, now I only realized he had to agree or else I wouldn’t have married him and have his babies, that’s one of his hook and the “crooks” revealed when the household expenses came to me almost the end of some months and when his brother’s wife came to visit me told me how much debt he owes his family members. 

   When I quitted my job, a Datin would even admire my “free-from-job" new status, she would often “check” my "jobless tai tai  lifestyle" from my parents, ‘She has good life without working!’ she mentioned it often to my parents. 

   Until one day my mom retaliated, ‘Jobless but still with pocket full of money, only a woman like you will have good life!’ This Datin actually acts humble like any other Malaysian-housewives when she stays in the oil city, she didn’t have any maid but have to cook meals for her family, so she probably thought that I would act like her other friends... tai tai with two or three maids in the house helping or her "real Datin's lifestyle" in Beijing or KL!

   

This is my monotonous lifestyle after I become a housewife, see if you  want to quit your good job after being married to a man!!! (Remember, don't quit unless you only earn RM1000/month but he can produce you RM10,000/month. If you earn RM10,000++ but he could only give you RM5000, then you should never quit your job!)

   I got up at 5:45am, immediately I have to prepare breakfast for next thirty minutes (Thanks God that I have fast dexterities), to prepare my children’s breakfast, packed their refreshment boxes and filled up their water bottles. Then I would take a quick shower, changed and put up make-up (remember there are not many natural beauties but there are many lazy women!), by 6:30-45am, we are on the road. By the time reached home it would be around 7:15am, immediately I collected my newspaper, put the dirty clothes in the laundry, eat my breakfast while reading newspaper, once done I have to wash dishes, clean the house (only pick a place to clean in a day), then I have to water the plants in the garden, soon I have to hang out the clothes under the sun. By the time I would be sweat all over, when I turn on the air condition to sit on the desk starting my writing, I found out it’s coming to 10 soon, my pretty “assistant” from next street comes, she helps me to correct grammar of my written books (not these blog articles), next two hours we both don’t want to be disturbed, but soon my alarm service man, plumber, pest control or electrician would hop in some of the mornings.

   

   Breakfast out with friends? I really don’t like it, because it means my household works will be delayed, and something would not be done. Telephone calls from friends to gossip? I also don’t like it, because I would talk to my friend, then suddenly I had forgotten what I told her the previous sentence when I saw the dirty floor accidentally! By 1:00pm, like most mothers I have to go picked up my children. 

   I will continue my story to let those idly but financially sounded career women or housewives who think on my behalf that I must be very free , I will soon let them know what I would do in the afternoon and evening before I went to sleep! 

   Never ever make mean remarks to other housewives who battered by their husbands financially, especially if those ladies don’t even have a maid at home or even a husband present at home 3 days in a month! Worst, their kids are still young, who can’t help their mommy even to vacuum the floor yet!

AVENGERS IN ACTION II

Chinamen did it in disguise for win-win situation!

Written by Miss Yellow

There was another nasty avenger true story happened here in Sarawak. About 10 years ago, a Miss S got married at old age too to an engineer, only after marrying her husband for 10 years she realized she was just a piece of chess in a chess set manipulated by an avenger. He caused her lost her successful career, actually he cheated her that he was very successful in his business, he would tell her off that her whole year salary was not even as much as his monthly income.

   

   Miss S’s husband actually was interested to pursue after Miss S’s secondary school classmate who is a medical specialist.

The same old story of how a stranger bachelor man with his friend knocking at a single professional’s door with the ice-breaker, ‘Your uncle is my good friend!’ However, the doctor was not interested at all with the man; she didn’t entertain him at all even he made long-distance calls to her house.

    

   What she didn’t know that was he actually got angry in disguise and silent, he began to check out her background, very soon he began to target her classmate, one of her best friends, Miss S. However, Miss S was not an easy person to reach too, so he arranged through his classmates as they were Miss S sisters’ secondary school form-mates. From there he craftily reached Miss S, learned her weakness as a high-age single lady being pestered to get married off by her sibbling and parents, and he also proposed to her in such a short time, without letting Miss S having any chance to think twice, to regret or to change her decision.

Few similar facts of all these avengers: They are mostly not coming from  good family background and their parents are usually illiterate and poor. Yet they accepted higher education thus become professionals like either a lawyer or engineer, YET as they are not brilliant and thus not the high income professionals, they have low self-esteem, self-pride and confidence, they felt the need of a higher standing wife to boost them, like the Avenger in Action 1 mentioned, usually these men are crafty but not very clever, they are smooth talkers and advantage seekers.

   To hook a professional outstanding lady thus they acted as a good listener temporary, but the minute they got married to their “prey”, they changed their true color very soon, they didn’t even let their professional wives expressed their views anymone, “Women should not talk!”  soon progress to "Women should not go out to work" ----- a typical Chinaman and abusing character  has just began to emerge! 

   

In order to revenge the rejection from a targeted professional lady, if the professional lady was not a pretty girl, the avenger would sure either pursue for her prettier immediate associate, e.g. her colleague, ex-classmate or friend. 

   Or if the professional lady was not coming from a prominent family background, the avenger would “hunt” for a better background lady deliberately. But usually only the victim directly dealing and marrying to the avenger would be getting into deep shit, not the professional lady or e.g. not that medical specialist who rejected the engineer flat.

   

So it is always wiser not to get friendly or having anything to do with a newly-met man,  even you are not interested on him, but don’t act over kindly and friendly to become his match-maker, in turn he may hurt you and the girl that  you tried to match him. 

   Stay away from the newly-met man; if he insisted on chasing after you, you have to check professionally and family bacground-wise if you are “married down”! Never ever married down to any Chinaman (Please note that in my definition of "Chinaman" didn't mean the general Chinese man, but the chauvinistic kind of selfish, crafty and mean Chinese man) mediocre professional, or else you sure will suffer later!

   Also check if he knows any of your friends or even sister, before you want to date him out, please check if he ever tried to chase after anyone of them. 

   Very often when a man couldn’t get one of the sibling, he would chase another one, usually the one who is prettier, smarter or more able (the  main rival to her sibling).

AVENGERS IN ACTION 1

Chinamen did it in disguise for win-win situation!

Written by Miss Yellow

Single professional ladies, you have to be extra careful if one day a stranger with his relative or friend suddenly visited you in your house or your office, you kindly opened your door to “let them in” just because they claimed they knew one of your classmates, friends, siblings, parents or cousins.

   Have you ever thought why a stranger shown up right at your doorsteps? Did they have an ultimate motive?

Let me share with you a true story happened right here in Sarawak state about 15 years ago:

   Once a professional called Miss S didn’t know such stranger’s motive only after the following incident happened:

   One day, a lawyer showed up at Miss S doorstep introduced himself that he knew Miss S’s younger sister and Miss S’s church friends.

   Soon, Miss S kindly introduced him her staff, a Tan Seri’s niece, Miss S thought happily that they would be a good match. But soon not long after, Miss S heard that this lawyer got engaged to a pharmacist who was at least 8 years older than him, and at the same time he still dated Miss S ‘s staff out while he already got engaged, only the engagement news not yet published in the newspapers.

   After Miss S found that out, immediately she looked up for her staff, and she found out her staff also just heard the news too, they were so angry and both felt being betrayed by the lawyer. As an unsuccessful match-maker, Miss S felt she had hurt not just her staff badly but also her staff’s parents as well.

   Such bloody lawyer after he met the pharmacist, they got engaged and married within a very short month.

   Miss S was in awe and soon she began to realize what went wrong, she noticed the lawyer didn’t mind the pharmacist who was a lot older than him and she was a lot more famous than him.

Miss S came out an analysis:

   Initially, the bloody lawyer and his brother-in-law came respectively visiting her expressed their friendship to her…. The ultimate motive was actually targeting her. What the lawyer didn’t expect was when Miss S didn’t show her single bit interest on him (In short, Miss S showed no interest in a younger man) thus she kindly introduced her staff to him.

    Diplomatically he accepted Miss S’s arrangement and dated Miss S’s staff out, but he actually disguised his madness silently waiting for just a chance to revenge, he probably felt that Miss S looked down at him, he felt he lost his pride and face, thus he wanted to revenge, for win-win situation he wanted to hurt both Miss S and her staff by marrying someone whom he thought was richer, more able, more famous or better than Miss S, as for Miss S’s staff he would use her to entertain himself to pass time.

   His revenge began when he moved out of the oil town to the cat city; he finally got his chance to meet an older lady in a church that he thought would par up with Miss S.

   Their marriage actually stunned everyone due to their age differences and it happened in such short a short time, and his wife’s career was much more successful than him and she was also much more famous than him!

  

   So how happy was their marriage? Miss S heard someone told her that his wife’s father complaint that he was the most useless son-in-law amongst all his sons-in-law. 10 over years later Miss S saw him again in a book store with two little ugly girls, they probably inherited their mom’s look, he was so inpatient with them, ugly girls could be cute and good karma aura could be fostered with loving parents, but with this kind of avenger, calculative sleazy father, these little girls probably would never receive enough love and cherish from him. Miss S also pitied his older wife; did she ever find out what her husband did to Miss S and Miss S’s staff? Did she know that she was just a piece in his chess set game?

I guess for sure the lawyer’s older-age wife didn’t have any idea, or probably he would make up a story to her that Miss S and Miss S’s staff were both chasing after him franticly that’s why he ended up moving to cat city!

   

   Chinaman-avengers usually are great stories-makers, compulsive liars, good in disguise and very crafty, they will never become a good husband and father, in short they are very selfish, using their wives like a tool and slave, and they are not good in managing their business too, as they are actually not the very clever kind of men, but just good in cheating at unattained richer or more prominet ladies or else they wouldn't have to depend on a much more outstanding wife to give them laurels! That’s why the lawyer wanted the engagement and marriage happened as quickly as possible because I think deep in his heart he feared that Miss S or his girlfriend would reveal the truth to his wife.