ARE YOU REALLY A DEPRESSION OR BIPOLAR VICTIM?

And normally P-Type personality could be wrongly diagnosed as a bipolar!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-17677657

Sad enough, I think my "zoloft and risperdal nourished" son has very different common sense, perceptions or logical awareness than other normal kids.

 

Were those people who either blackmail or coax you to see a psychiatrist kind-hearted, really cared and worried of you or they just wanted to chop off your “horns”?

Imagine this scene: After seeing blood on their mouths, a hunter, a group of dogs and their dog-friends waved their tails happily!

Some goats stood far away crying and bleating for their dying friend!

 

In memory of my friend’s only daughter and my ex-students' mum who was wrongly diagnosed as a depression victim!

Written by Money Tai Tai

What's wrong when you were not sick but you were taken antibiotic just because a doctor gave you a wrong diagnosis?

You can’t say this was never happened in the medical world!

What's wrong when you experienced throat pain for a month already, your GP prescribed you anxiety pills to relief your stress, but luckily you went for a second opinion, you went to an Otolaryngology or ENT eventually you saw a peanut stuck in your throat from the screen?!

The wrong diagnosis happened and the victim was one of my best friends and from there onwards whenever I chilled peanuts or any kind of nuts I made sure I wouldn't talk too much or too loud!

What's wrong when you were a cancer recovered patient, ten years later you experienced some health problems you went to a well-known specialist, but you were diagnosed as a depression victim and you were asked to take all those antidepressants, it was too late when you went to ask for a second opinion from another doctor, few months later you died actually your cancer had reoccurred?!

That’s one of my best friend’s only daughter; when she died her children were barely studying in the primary school.

What's wrong when you were not a depression sufferer, but your family members who were neither doctors nor nurses, they insisted that you were a depressed person that needed treatment, they blackmailed you for observation in a stress ward and eventually you received depression treatment obediently?

 

You can’t say this kind of soap-opera scene never happened!

 

When somebody told you, 'I would never trust anyone of the family members anymore!' Why?

'They claimed they knew me so well, even could see through my inner-thought and feelings!'

'But did they ever know that when they blackmailed me in 2002, I was actually already being tricked and blackmailed once in 1996 by my most trusted landlady, whom I called my “godmother”? If they knew that I once got blackmailed for being “verbally abused, physically threatened and mentally tortured”, I wonder would they ever do that to me again, but from their actions actually I could tell they never ever really cared of what had happened to me before, so they again arranged something unethical, inhuman and sheepishly behind my back 10 years later in 2012, but once bitten twice shy, I could see their inner-thought and feelings probably more than they knew mine!!! I didn’t abide their arrangement, in extend one of them came to my house begging to enter, from there another “verbal abused” happened to both sides, when did it happened when a guest yelled louder than a hostess? So of course I told him, “Get the fxxk out of my house! But he obviously didn’t understand human’s word and it was one of the most famous words in the world!” Biting own family members was something that I never wanted it to happen, but I couldn't avoid it when someone came in my house asking for a fight. That’s my motto of life: Usually I trusted a friend fully, but if he lies, makes stories, cheats or defames me, sorry I will put a brake on that person. If you don’t offence me, I won’t give you a kick!'

'And especially within a period of difficult time, when I hide in a corner to lick my wound, if a friend told me a lie or break a promise, I will look at the world even with colder eyes! Simple promise like I would pick you up an hour later, but after 70 minutes I didn’t see a trace of that person showed up, when I called him, he would say, “Sorry I am still busy in the office.'

'I remember on May 15, 1996 when I went to make photo copying of some documents in my godmother’s office, I was forbid to get out of there for the next two hours, it took years for me to solve this mystery of who was the mastermind behind this blackmailing parley (they called it parley but actually for two hours I was being verbally abused, humiliated, insulted, threatened and wrongly accused of things that I didn’t commit by a group of newly opened business establishment business rivals and with my so called “godmother” who eventually cut my “horns” to spill more oil on the fire)'

'Since it was a blackmail case, as I didn’t commit any of the things they wrongly accused, if they wanted to bark I would treat them as dogs and bitches let them barked for the next two hours, I just hold one of my chin with my arm, took off my spectacles (I am -7 and -7 ½) when I couldn’t even clarify myself when they wouldn't give me change at all, (Before the parley, my landlady and her pervert godson promised me that I just needed to clarify myself that I didn’t say anything they wrongly accused me of wanting to bomb their business establishment, then I would be fine. I told them I didn’t know those stranger-rivals, “Why I have to see them? They can talk to my lawyer!” I was actually illegally detained by them, so I remembered I escaped but soon I was dragged back to the landlady's office. I under fathomed those underground ex-terrorists only female leader’s ability!)'

'Now I recalled, the distance within my landlady office and other peoples who got called in her office shouldn’t be that near, that’s mean actually the minute I stepped in her office making photo copying, she already planned ahead probably few days or a week before with her "gang", she just picked a right day and time for her "gang" and waited for me to show up her office, then she would call  her "gang” in for a show and probably she already instigated everyone ready to give me a “stern lectures”. So within few minutes time one after another they all reached my landlady office readily while my mind still busy wondered did I know how to spit out this kind of violent words, I only swear with four letter words more than most female but to say bombing especially in Chinese word I can’t even produce the sound accurately even up to these day!'

'Vividly stayed in my mind of how stunned I was and I saw how the rest of the dogs and bitches with blood on their mouths left happily and of course the happiest was the bitch who could chop-off my “horns”. My landlady would spit out some remarks that made me chewed them for years until now, I finally could figure out some of her psychology in her dark corners, “AAAA, something I don’t like about you is you never want to be a loser ….!” (Honestly, my first response was so mad deep inside me when I heard this unreasonable remarks, I didn’t do business with her except paid her monthly rental faithfully on the beginning of every month! What’s wrong if I have high standard, high expectation in my work and very stringent to my own work standard? But for them they look at negative sides) If my bank account left RM700, she has a lot more than me, why she was so hostile to me? She once attacked one of her close comrades, “What’s the big deal of that fat lady, her husband’s wealth just as much as my husband, RM7, 000, 000. 00!”'

'“You never admit your own wrong doing?” (I was again so mad deep inside me, what did I do wrongly to these rivals? Why you never told me before this during past 4 years that I was not good in your eyes, but all a sudden, you wrongly accused me and worst still to those strange rascal-rivals? Hey! Why you trusted those rascals more than me, do you know that I called you godmother?! How are you so sure that they were innocence but not me?!)

“How about those innocence folks got murdered and killed by you in your jungle days? But you told me it was done due to the revolution for the good? You all were having peace talk with government but never surrender actually?!” My ears were never stuck by thick mucus like now I could hear those words still clearly now echoed in my ears and inner brain!!'

'In young days, I dressed up nice with slim body and I could receive wolf-calls even from fat mothers. In contrast to her, she appeared like a grandma which I didn’t mind to call her as a godmother in respect as I thought of her as a wise and kind lady initially. I didn’t know the time her husband already had affairs and once she checked out my background, she knew that I could be bullied perhaps I was unlucky to let her lash and revenge on me instead, by chopping off my "honks", I could almost hear her silent hiss, “Hahahaha ….. now, I want to see what can you do without your horns!” She expected I couldn’t be acting “proud”, “arrogant” and “fierce” anymore after those two hours of abuses by my business rival and including her verbal abused on me in front of those business rivals (one of them is a triad member).'

'In short, in a “Chinawomen” world they won’t be able to accept a Chinese girl with Ang Mo’s thoughts, outspoken and dress-up. Or else she would be casted as outcast needed to be under “lectured” and "corrections" and with my family members, when they couldn’t accept my ways, they would think that I needed to get “treated by antidepressants!”'

'I wonder if I didn’t like their ways in oppose, in another word, what kind of blackmail they could have received from me? They should be glad that usually Chinese girls with Ang Mo thoughts usually don’t care what other people were doing and thought of them, as long as those bitches didn’t come to step on their toes or tails!'

'In 2002, I was an old-age pregnant woman, could be because of that I experienced spotting so I was brought by one of the “accessory” to Singapore for treatment. I was brought to Mt. E, but the minute I reached there, all a sudden my handbag with passport and hp were taken away and only by then I was told by my sisters that I would be under observation in this stress ward under diagnose for depression. My husband was never informed in this case, all because when I was pregnant with my son I complained to one of my younger sisters (Only from what she said and did to me only by now I finally learned that she never likes me and I felt she likes to chop off my horns too!) that I didn’t have "a nest to hatch my chick", but my world and her world obviously was so different, she married Ang Mo and lives in the uptown and even up to now I have a house, my whole house is even smaller than her living room. Happened during that time, she was also pregnant, but her baby was 6 months older than mine, when I was pregnant and spotting, it had been dragged on for weeks already in Malaysia, but they would rather confine me in stress ward as a PRIORITY instead of stressing my main spotting problem by bringing me to see a gynecologist immediately when I first touched down Singapore!'

'Luckily I got a worst experience of being blackmailed once by a quintet of ex-terrorist, a triad gangster, a bitchy liar, a pervert and a barbarian before! Imagine how about if I lost my cool when I found that I was blackmailed? How about if I protested, fought for my handbag, hp and passport, beat up people who caught me and struggled hard to run away from the stress ward? If they caught me they sure would give me an injection, they might even tie me to a bed and immediately I would be diagnosed as a violence bipolar or schizophrenia!'

'My survival skills under these kind of blackmails when being set and got trapped already, I would be very cooperative. If you wanted to insult, verbally abused, humiliates, threaten, wrongful accusations or insult me, please go ahead, I just wanted to get over it and get out of it as quickly as possible, but don’t expect me stupid enough to fall into same kind of trick again!'

'So I obediently took the Zoloft while pregnant to 7 months, and Risperdal to 5 months. Since then my memory was not as sharp anymore like before (Which is actually very bad for my career) and  the outcome of the baby, this was what my baby sitter witnessed, she is someone who is well-educated, very smart girl, graduate from Taiwan National University and working in a Japanese embassy now. “E is slower than most babies, slow to talk ….” I would add more as I witnessed his great differences from his sister, who is a normal kid,

‘E was slow to write, slow to learn, slow in awareness ……………” I usually got so depressed when I came out from his class; after I heard the following “reports” I felt that soon I would get chronic high blood pressure:

“Aunty! E would eat his foods before recess just in front of everyone!”

“Aunty! E would catch grasshopper to scare us girls!”

"Aunty, E would walk out of class even before recess time while the teacher was still in class teaching us!"

“Aunty! Did E finish his homework?” And he didn’t care if his homework was not done.

“Aunty! Yesterday E threw his shoes to the Blue class classmates and he spat at them, and they used a mop to push him and asked him to get away from their lobby!”

“Aunty! AR tore E’s shirt off yesterday!”

“Aunty! AR pushed E yesterday!”

“Aunty! E got 27 in the class, teacher told us to clap hand because she said E didn’t need to study also could get 27, while others studied so hard even couldn’t get that 27!” Oh yes, I also never studied but I was not that “outstanding” than my son!

Who don’t wish to have a smart, witty and intelligent son? E hardly wore his shirt, trouser, and shoes correctly even up to today (9 years old). Before 9 years old, whatever had happened in the school he would never tell me even if I asked he would tell me, “Nothing!”

 

When his school headmaster told him, “E, don’t you cling on this stainless steel bar anymore, it is too dangerous for you or else I will take a photo!”

I was told by his form teacher, “Other students would stop after being warned by the headmaster, but immediately E would cling to the stainless steel bar again! Obviously he doesn’t know what is right and what is wrong, he couldn’t comprehend things like other normal kids! Obviously he wanted to take photo of his clung to the stainless steel bar!” I think he also didn’t aware of an authority figure - a school headmaster stood right in front of him!'

This is my advice to those people who wish to visit a psychologist or psychiatrist:

(1) You must choose the similar religious background, ethical values, thinking and mentality of that P or P you are going to visit. E.g. if you have Ang Mo thinking don’t look for a Chinaman and very religious P or P, or else you will be condemn before wrongly diagnosed and treatment, as all those treatment conclusions drawn from evaluating a depression or bipolar victim were based on talks between P or P or P and P with you. The judgments of P and P would be different if their values, ethical standard, experience or point of views were different from yours, then the diagnostic might not be very accurate.

E.g. Like the case on 1996  the bullied victim was on the urge of suicide but none of her immediately family would care if she was depressed or not, in a point she would go buying sleeping pills, luckily those pharmacy stores owners were all her friends, they forbid to sell her exceeding sleeping pills, after she took them just for few days, she stopped it immediately, because she could tell something went wrong to her memory. Then when one early evening, she really got hysterical enough crying none stop in an urge to suicide, she immediately called telekom for a telephone number to talk to a psychiatrist, and in old days there were only two psychiatrist in Sarawak state, and lucky enough one of them was free enough to listen to her and cool her down.

It took her a year to get over this depression in 1996 actually without any antidepressant, and actually nobody helped her to get over it, she was the one who helped herself to get over it. So don‘t tell her what is called depression, she knows it herself very well, because she had experienced it, just like she knows when she got sick!! If she got very sick she would look for a doctor herself, and if she got very depressed she would look for a psychiatrist herself too!

First symptom when you get depression was you would get sick often, once every month, you would go back to a place where you felt most safe, (In this case the bullied victim would return her hometown once every month, where normally she would return there the most twice a year) you would cry exceedingly on the first week and gradually decreased through time, as time is the best cure to forget bad past of sombody who had wrong you. You need occasion smoking (Like the bullied victim would puff but without inhaling for at least a pack every evening, but she never got addicted as she has very strong conditioned condition) and drinking (a can of Heineken could make her sleep on the cement floor for a night! she loves wine but she is not a drinker) to just make you go to sleep, as you experienced insomnia, and it would decrease gradually. Also at last you would get a bad dream to help you to make a final decision to solve your unhappiness. (In this case, the bullied victim was a gifted dreamer; she could dream and found a resolution during an adversity, eventually she moved out from her wicked landlady’s premises, 6 years later after her son’s birth she heard her ex-landlady’s comrades told her friends that the ex-landlady's husband has a teenager kid from the mistress already.)

(2) You shouldn’t go to see a P or P under being blackmailed, being coaxed into or under forced (unless you are a serious schizophrenia victim) Actually, the minute you enter stress ward, a normal person also has a high chance to get diagnosed as a depressed person, as when you faced those crazy patients struggling, screaming and yelling wanting to take off their clothes, making funny gestures talking to the wall themselves or acting abnormal, under such a crazy atmosphere soon after few days you would lash out whatever your past unhappiness, wrong doings and adversities you went through to your P and P. Even if you were normal but based on probably your unhappy childhood, some wrong doings or past sufferings, they would decide you need treatment. (I always told my adult students when they wanted to tell me secrets: “The secrets should be kept by yourself, it is the sign of maturity! If you tell me a secret that you would worry in the future that I would tell it to someone even I never told it to anyone, then you better don’t tell me!”

(3) Check if you are a P-Type personality, you love thrill, adventures, love the high-risk activities. If you are P-Type personality but you are confined to a bored job and unexcited environment, that would be like lock a wild animal in a cage. Soon you will be depressed like those caged wild animals!! I won’t advise those P-Type personality people go for bipolar antidepressants, you should go finding a thrill job like working as a pilot, astronaut or diver or you should engage in more thrilling expeditions like going for hiking, mountain climbing or go to north pole catching auroras! If P-Type personality people don’t go for excitement, their outburst of outrageous acts from time to time soon could be very annoyance to this society confined by proper folks living in it…. Tame pets!! And normally P and P could wrongly diagnose the P-Type as bipolar!

(4) If your teenager kids complained to you that they were being bullied in school please don’t ignore them and treated their complaints as, “They were just kids fights went on there in school!” As they are already teenager, hormone changing and puberty time, they can’t be bullied and under constant stress, prolonged stress and being bullied could lead these teenagers to a chronic depression, and when I was a teacher, I had taught few of this kind of unfortunate students, but they were in the no-return point, as their parents told me they were very regretted they ignored their kids’ complained of being bullied during their secondary school days, and it was too late by the time they noticed their kids’ differences from others, they already got crazy with paranoid acts or uncontrollable behaviors, like if they wanted to see a film star that they secretly admired, they would even steal money and manage flying to a city to meet the film star or if they wanted to watch a movie, while still studying in class, they would walk off to go for movie 10 km away while everyone didn’t notice. They would eventually become useless, repeatedly talking the same thing all the time and they would become fatter and fatter. Usually they would be under antidepressants to control their outrageous acts, that's why they became fatter and sluggish. If you heard your teenager kids complaining of they were being bullied in school, you must change their school for a better one. Even changing three times like Meng Mu of Chinese great educator’s mum did to her son would be nothing to lose! It happened once when my son returned from school, he said his classmate and teacher wrongly accused him of changing answer for his already marked hanged down exam paper (Actually I was quite confused by his explanation, he told me because during exam when he noticed that he didn’t do it correctly so he erased it and changed the answer, but anyhow he still gave a wrong answer)  I think my "zoloft and risperdal nourished" son has very different common sense,  logical awareness or perceptions (like he could write mirror image) than other normal kids, after exam papers hanged down by teachers, other kids would correct the wrong answers by writing the correct answers at a side, but my son would rub off the wrong answers and directly entered the correct answers, (On the next day I checked from his classmates, they said even the teacher saw what he did, so I told my son that next time the correct answers should be written at a side, not by erasing and entering the correct answers on the wrongly answered answers on the hanged down marked papers) so the teacher spanned my son hard with his hand and said that he was cheating and my son cried loudly in class, and after school first time he reported to me that he was spanned by his math teacher due to his classmate wrongly reported him to teacher of altering answers but my son told me the teacher didn’t believe  that he didn’t tell a lie (actually I was quite confused by my son's sense of logic!) so I kissed my son told him, “OK OK, mummy trust you didn’t tell a lie.” So imagine if I didn’t trust my son too and told him like one of the bullied victim's sister used to tell her when she got bullied by the quintet, “Oh! We are doing business, sorry we can’t offense anyone!”

How about if I told my son when he got bullied? “Oh! We are Christian, you shouldn’t tell lie, by right your teacher wouldn’t make any mistake when your classmate reported you of erasing and changing the answer, you must be the naughty and bodoh (stupid) one lah!” Should I pour cold water on my son when he kept repeatedly told me? “I really didn’t tell lie! Yes, I really didn’t tell lie!”

5. If you are under depressed which was caused by man-made cause bullies, like what 1996 quintet did to the bullied victim, in such case it is luckier for the victim to born in a mafia family, let’s fight for a fairness! An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth! Instead of for past years some of those members of quintet still could keep “barking” and “haunting” after the poor bullied victim. Actually one of them is the bithiest biggest liar she ever seem, the liar would lead bible study, told people and put in the blog that she has a bachelor degree, in order to promote the business she witnessed in Churches and impressed the congregations of how difficult to pursue her kind of degree, e.g. first year there was 25% dropped out, second year there was 40 % dropped out, but she never mentioned third and the fourth year, she never told those congregations that she actually never obtained any bachelor degree, and of course Church congregation would never suspect she told lies as she dared to give speech on the stages all over churches! Later they even sent a family member to spy for two years on the bullied victim's business to learn her success secret trades and they eyed greedily on one of her golden-hen dealerships before she finally sold it off. Actually one of them is a gangster from a famous triad, from Monday to Saturday he would threat and ask people for money, but Sunday he would go to Church and he threatened his bullied victim that he could easily damaged her face by spilling hydrochloric acid on it! The bullied victim learned that dog would not bark long at a giant lion, but would soon tug his tail in between its hind legs and run its life, but when the dog saw a cat, it would keep barking even if the cat was sitting on the tree top!!!

6. If you are normal, never ever let yourself have a record of depression, but most of them would tell you it’s nothing wrong to be a depression victim. Even if you were wrongly diagnosed as one, but in the future if any of those people who knew you once have such record they would use that to against you for another treatment when you didn’t live up to their ways and expectation or anyone of them could use that to attack you in one way or another. They thought of depression like a cancer being reoccurred, worst were the depression was "aggravated" and "upgraded" to the newer terminology called bipolar. They would convince their friends and cousins to trust their "lies" instead of yours, “Don’t listen to her, she has a depression record before!” or simply made up stories to further blackened your “historical” record, “She wanted to kill herself and her baby, the doctor said she was a bipolar, then she was treated by a team of doctors and was under sedatives shot.” Once you have depression record, your credential also in trouble, because you took the antidepressants, the records were written there, and if you want people and your friends to believe you, you have to dig out those old records somewhere in the stores of those second opinions from Ang Mo P and P who stated that you were perfectly normal! And actually you never even wanted to take a second glance of some of those false and untrue wrongly diagnosed as depression patience's reports!

Anyhow in the family, usually some siblings would react so different from another, the quiet ones, somehow all a sudden would probably send you a thank you note of her kids’ or want to send you gifts or things that you need, but the obnoxious ones would be the ones who kept bombarding you with nasty emails, SMS, you yourself is the only person entitled to say if you are stressed or not, don’t let somebody who is neither a doctor nor a nurse and who normally hardly shows you her concern, "insisting" that you have depression, anxiety or bipolar. As long as you are not stressing up to a point that needed to take sleeping pills or antidepressants, then go straight to the main cause of the problems tried to get rid the "culprits" who caused your inner pains and who might actually wanted to chop off your “horns” subconsciously in their jealous envy minds! Don’t use the term depression, anxiety, stress or bipolar as an escape to your problems and overloaded works, unless you really have uncontrollable outrageous behaviors resulted as "invalid" and "fat" person like those poor suffered chronic depression victims whom I once encountered, honestly after staying with them for almost a week in the stress ward or taught them as my students (they could never concentrate and short of memory due to the antidepressants) I really felt my heart aching whenever I thought of them.