什么是所谓开明的父亲？

他們不僅帶領他們女兒接受良好的教育，他們也開闢了他們女兒將來的名望和財富道路！

撰寫:黃小姐

99％的中國現代父親或父母的頭腦甚至不能相提並論了一個19世紀的中國父親叫宋查理！他是受美國化影響的衛理公會牧師，雖然有那麼多的中國家長受教育在美國或西方，但在某種程度上他們的頭腦並不像宋查理的豁達，記得現在是21世紀，宋查理從來沒有見過任何電腦或3G手機，但大多數受過美國或西方教育的中國父母，他們如果沒有筆記本電腦，至少會擁有移動電話，這就是所謂的現代，但怎麼可能有那麼多的中國父親和公婆感到很失望而沮喪，如果知道他們的妻子/媳婦將生一個女嬰來?

到目前為止，我個人的經驗及看到：當他們生了全窩的女兒，這些充滿失意的父母，他們唯一的解決方法就是讓他們的女兒受最高教育，但他們十分勉強”，而總會有“一定的條件” - 他們最終目的是為了送女兒學醫，成為一名醫生，如果你進入奧塔哥大學醫學院，你會發現那里亞洲女性學生比男生更多,肯定的是亞洲女性學生比白人學生總數多！為什麼？這一切都是中國勢利的文化造成的（甚至是印度)，中國人他們總不欠醫生的，甚至還給醫生送禮，但他們寧可試圖尋找荒謬藉口不付他們債權人任何的債務！

或者有另一種流派的中國父母,他們是希望他們的女兒可以在小小年紀的時候就已經飛上枝葉頭做鳳凰- 他們將跳過教育階段直接追求名利和財富，他們是怎麼做到的？他們會送女兒去角逐任何形式的人才比賽，鋼琴比賽，小提琴比賽，表演比賽，歌詠比賽，魔術比賽等，在這種情況下，他們通常會限制他們的女兒在家接受教育，因為公立學校繁忙的日程教育，是不可能提早培養神童人才。

是否這些父母明智？大多數天才當他們到達40歲時，已經厭倦了受控的生活，像鋼琴演奏家李云迪，最近他在日本表演時開始亂了，以及一些數學神童最終成為娼妓等, 天才的生活是無聊的,因為他們只去追求一個天分, 在他們父母強制執時沒有得到機會發展其他興趣，他們在籠子僅限於履行雜技雜耍技藝，一旦他們離開了籠子，他們發現世界其實是一個叢林，發現他們不是他們父母嘴中唯一的人才

大多數中國父母認為是，如果他們的女兒已成為一名醫生，他們自然會找到一個同樣優越的丈夫，有些會單純的認為，如果他們的女兒已經大學畢業，至少他們能找到另一個同樣出色大學畢業的​​丈夫。因此，他們就在女兒完成了高等教育的時刻停止培養他們。大多數時候父母在他們女兒大學畢業時感到是一種的解脫，這是他們厭倦，尤其是經過多年的擔心掙錢要教育自己的女兒。

這些父母是的“自然選擇”的追隨者- 他們認為: 我已經讓你們女孩受過了教育，你們不年輕了，你們比我受教育的越越，從現在開始你們就獨立做出自己的決定。

所以，如果遵循“自然選擇”，肯定在這些女兒們的當中會有失敗者- 如果他們當中的一個嫁了個“令人沮喪的丈夫”時，如果他的思維依然圍在18世紀期清初，一個妻子應該是處女（他想要一個免費的妓女因他對待了她賤），妻子應該知道如何做飯，清掃房子，並利用妻子照顧他的老母親（他想要一個免費的全職女僕因為他從來沒有給她買什麼禮物），妻子應該能夠“生產”很多寶寶（如果她拒絕，他會告訴她，她製造寶寶差勁，他的妻子要充當免費寶寶製造廠），如果他的妻子比他掙更多的錢，他不喜歡這個主意（所以他試圖騙她放棄了她成功的職業生涯，比如他的收入不比他妻子的收入多,他反會告訴她她不能幹，當他的妻子懷疑他的矛盾，他總是找藉口，他想要一個奴隸），，他的妻子最終仍支付家庭開支，用她辛苦賺來的儲蓄，不久他的妻子的父母和姐姐都必須來解救這個“失敗者”，他們總會偷偷做，因為中國人要面子，如果他看到他的妻子和孩子被由他妻子的家人“資助”時，他會故意拖延給她每月的開支，有時他會說， “既然你的父母生的都是女孩，如果你不花他們的錢，他們給誰去花？總之，他希望他的妻子花了他父母的錢比其他姊妹多(其他已婚成功的姊妹總會帶回錢給他們的父母,但他讓他妻子從來不敢回她父母的家，因為她不能夠給她的父母任何的東西），但他希望將來一天他的妻子能從她的父母接受相等繼承的份額。

嫁給一個滑舌，無能和無賴的懶老公，給予一個好培養和教育的職業女性是無法忍受的內心痛苦創傷。那麼，為什麼，如果你是父母，你只是坐在那裡讓“自然選擇”照顧你的女兒，讓你最倒霉的女兒成為一隻黑綿羊嗎？因此，我建議所有中國父親，你必須跟宋查理學習，畢生培育和引導你的女兒，以確保所有的最好發生在他們的生活，你不應該做了一半就放棄，並認為你已經做夠了！

看著宋查理，他的三個女兒被送到品牌衛斯理學院,其中希拉里·克萊本畢業從此學院畢業，如果你的女兒在那裡學習，他們有很高的機會將遇到滿足聰明和勤工作的年輕人，因為哈佛大學和麻省理工學院就在衛斯理學院附近，如果學生父母只是富有,但他們既不聰明或勤奮，他們也不能考入哈佛大學和麻省理工學院。

19世紀期間，當大多數中國女孩仍然沒有受過教育，宋氏姐妹已能講一口流利的英語，教育和接觸於最發達的美國，在政治舞台上的決策和能夠幫助到她們的丈夫，（她們的丈夫英語差勁），比中國歷史上任何一個第一夫人優越，從那以後,這些年來中國總理的妻子只是一個現代版的“花瓶”（如J.肯尼迪，使小報雜誌得到好處基於八卦, 讓頭腦簡單的女人佩服，做他們的白日夢或幻想，在這種情況下,我建議這類女性讀Mills and Booms 好多了！雖然一些第一夫人都受過高等教育，但在政治上，除了不能給他們著名的丈夫尷尬,他們卻不能像宋氏姐妹完滿，這些第一夫人僅能教導其他女人如何成為一個好妻子，而不是如何成為一個他們丈夫的“智囊團”！

那麼，誰給了宋氏姐妹這樣的自信？我可以向你保證，這是他們的父親：宋查理，如果一個父親培養他的女兒同樣與他的兒子，肯定自己的女兒長大後會，將和一個男孩同樣自信，他們思考，行動和說話同樣予一個男孩，（很多人不知道宋氏小妹閱讀聖經也吸煙，並沒有孩子......。在那樣狹隘的社會，這是最好的解決)，一個典型的良好的西方文化，男孩和女孩是平等的,這也能成功養育孩子的本質.

如果你想培養你的女兒類似你如何培養你的兒子，從今天開始，不要對孩子們進行比較，請把他們當作男女皆宜。旦他們年紀大一點後，然後你告訴他們，“你看，外面世界有許多古老的思維老叔叔老阿姨與定勢仍然存在，他們會看不起女孩，可能他們其中的一個可能最終成為你的丈夫和公公婆婆，千萬不能嫁入那樣的家庭，要不然我的培養和傳授給你的教育會被返回到零一遍，當你想重新開始，這將是不可能的，因為你的丈夫會跟你唱反調，他會讓你的生活很提培育出另一個新世代成功的女孩，這就是為什麼我們中國在培養”成功女子”進步促進這麼慢！

許多婦女不知道為什麼女同志能更獨立和成功過普通的女性，我了解到，他們的思維不同與正常的女孩,女同志心目中認為自己是男人。但在目前的社會，如果你的思想和舉動例如於一個男人，其他舊思想的女性，如果他們不冠以您是個女同性戀者，也會侮辱你是個“女強人！

What is so called Open-minded Fathers?

They led their daughters to not just accepting good education but they also opened a pathway to their daughters for perpetual fame and wealth!

By Miss Yellow

99% modern Chinese fathers or parents’ minds can’t even par up with a 19^th century Chinese father called Charlie Soong! He was very American influenced Methodist minister, although there were so many Chinese parents educated in USA or western educated as well, somehow their minds are not as open-minded as Charlie Soong, remember now is 21^st century, Charlie Soong had never across any computer or 3G mobile phone, but most American or western educated Chinese parents if without  laptop, they would at least own a mobile phone, this is so called - modern age  and yet how could there were so many Chinese fathers and in-laws felt very disappointed and frustrated when their wives/DILs delivered baby girl after baby girl?

So far I saw from my critical eyes and personal experience: these frustrated parents when they delivered whole nest-full of girls, their only resolution was to educated them, but they did it rather  “unwillingly”, as there are always “ certain conditions” conditioned to their daughters - their ultimate aim was to send their daughters to medical school to end up as a doctor,  thus if you enter Otago University medical school, you could find there are  more female medical students than male students and  there surely got more female Asian students than total white students! Why? This is all caused by Chinese’s (or even Indian) born-snobbish culture, they would always pay doctors and even give gifts to doctors, but they rather owe their other ill-fated creditor so many debts but tried to find ridiculous excuse not to pay any debt!

Or there is another genre of Chinese parents to wish that  their daughter could fly up the tree top to end up as a phoenix as earlier as possible  - they would jump over education phase to pursue fame and wealth directly, so how they did it? They would send their daughters to compete in talents competitions one after another, in such case they usually confine their daughters for home study, as public school education’s hectic schedule is impossible to foster young talents. Is it wise? Most prodigies became burnt up when they reached 40s, like concert pianists Yundi, he started to mess up his performance in Japan concert stage, and some math prodigy ended up as prostitutes etc. Life is boring for genius or prodigy, as they got no chance to develop their other interest when being  enforced by their parents to pursue only one talent, they were confined in a cage to perform their acrobatic juggling feats, once they were out of that cage, they found out the world is actually a jungle and they were not the only ones who are so good and so talented!

One thing that most Chinese parents thought is if their daughters have become a doctor, naturally they could find an as equally good husband, in another word they believed that if their daughter has been educated in university, at least they could find another as equally good university graduated husband. So their fostering stops right at same time their daughters finished their tertiary education. Most of the time parents felt a relief the minute their daughters have graduated from university, and that’s the time they were tired as well,  especially after years of worrying about finding money to educate their daughters.

These parents is the followers of “natural selection” – I already educated you girls, you are not young anymore, you have seemed world and being educated more than me, I will leave you alone from now onwards.

So if follow “natural selection”, surely there would be a loser amongst these daughters – if one of them married a “disappointed husband” when his mind is still confining in 18^th century idealogy, a wife should be a virgin (he wants a FOC puta), a wife should know how to cook and clean house and take care of his old mom (he wants a FOC full time maid), a wife should be able to “produce” many babies (if she refused he would tell her that she was not good in making babies, his wife should act as a FOC baby factory), he didn’t like the idea if his wife earns more money than him, (So he tried crook or hook to let her give up her successful career, e.g. your yearly income is not more than my monthly income --- actually it’s a BS, he would never show his wife his actual income, but he would tell her how capable he was and always find excuses when his wife questioned his contradiction, he wants a SLAVE) and at the end of the day, his wife still ended up paying for the household expenses with her hard earned saving, and soon his wife’s parents and sisters all have to come and rescue this “loser-sister”, they would do that secretly, as China-man is full of pride if he sees that his wife and children are being “financed” by his wife’s family, he would deliberately delay giving her monthly expenses, or sometimes he would say, “Since your parents got all girls, if you don’t spend their money, who are they going to give to? In short he wants his wife to spend his parents-in-law money more than the rest of siblings (as other successfully married siblings would bring back money to their parents) and yet he expected his wife to receive equal share of inheritance from her parents.

To marry a rogue tongue, smooth talking but incapable and lazy husband, for a well cultivated and educated professional woman is an unbearable inner pain. So why if you are parents, you just sit down there letting “natural selection” to take care, to let one of your unlucky daughters to end up as a black sheep? So I advise all Chinese fathers, you got to learn from Charlie Soong, fostered and channeled your daughters to ensure all the best happened to their lives, you shouldn’t give up at one point and thought that you have done enough!

Look at Charlie Soong, his three daughters were sent to branded Wesleyan College where Hillary Cliburn graduated from, if your daughter studied there, they have very high chance to meet smart and hard working young men as well, as to be in Harvard and MIT nearby Wesleyan College , a student either has to be  smart or hardworking, you can’t end up in Harvard and MIT if your parents are just rich but you are neither smart or hardworking.

While during 19^th century when most Chinese girls were still uneducated, Soong sisters could speak excellent English, with knowledge and exposure from the most advanced country America and could help their husbands (who were not good in speaking English) in political arena in making decisions and helped their husbands more than any first wives in Chinese history, even up to these days, Chinese premiers’ wives are just a  modern version of “flower vase” (like J. Kennedy helped in a way to make tabloid magazines got rich and for the rest of shallow minded parents or women to admire, doing their day dream or fantasize, I advise this kind of women to read Mills and Booms is much better in this case!), although some of these first wives are highly educated, but politically they couldn’t help their husbands like what Soong sisters could do, these women usually ended up teaching other women how to be a good wife instead of how to be a “master mind” to your husband!

So who gave Soong sisters this kind of confidence? I can assure you, it was their father: Charlie Soong, if a father fostered his daughters as equally his sons, surely his girls would grow up as confidence as a boy, they would think, act and talk like a boy as well, (many people didn’t know Soong sister read Bible and smoked as well, and no babies…. For their own good in that kind of society where most women and men were narrow minded ---- so think laterally), this is a typical essence of good western culture that enable successful parenting to children - both boys and girls are equal, thus girls won’t live under the lament of parents just because they are girls.

If you want to foster your daughters equally like how you educate your boys, start from today, don’t compare them to boys, please treat them as unisex. Once they grow up a little older, then you tell them, “Look, out there in your bubble, they are many old uncles and old aunties with ancient mind set still existed, they really look down at girls and may be one of them could end up as your husband and parents-in-law, so you watch out not to marry into that kind of family, or else my cultivation and education imparted to you will be returned back to zero again, and when you want to start over again, it will be impossible, because your husband will sing the counterpoint, and he will make your life very difficult to raise another new generation of successful girls, and that’s why our Chinese’s progress in fostering successful “iconic girls” progressed so slowly!

Many women also didn’t know that why lesbians can achieve more than stereo-type female, I learned that lesbians’ minds think like men. But at our current society, if you think like a man and do things like a man, other ancient minded women if they don’t dub you as lesbians they would insult you as “Female strong human!” 女強人