Little Losers and Their Lose-face Moms
Are they really losers or just temporary losers?

Written by Mrs. Money

During the year end I brought my kids to visit my sister in Singapore, I told her my son’s academic result was rated as number twelve but in retrograde order. She comforted me, “Ee… never mind…. who became the greatest historical figures or richest men in the world because of always getting no. 1 in school?”

I replied her promptly, “Your Singapore old premier Lee Kwang Yaw did!”

Of course she shrugged her shoulder and became wordless. But I think that’s the only great figure I could name of who almost always scored no. 1 academically. So subconsciously I tried to give excuses myself, I would think that my son will be alright after three years once he can command better in his Mandarin, imagine he couldn’t even converse in Chinese the time he entered the Chinese primary school as Mr. Money insisted to send him instead to Lodge, which is even nearer to our house.

But realistically I never felt more frustrated than seeing quarter of my son’s best result classmates moved to the best class despite my son’s teachers told me there is no such classification of the best and the worst. Then on the first day of school after I overheard some student moms’ conversations I had the rude shock. “What? My son now is in the last class amongst the four!” Even I was never an aggressive mom who was often leaving his son in relapse in his homework but to mind my own new career ("inheritated" typically from my busy mom easy going altitude of never taught me to study and I only "learned" to study when I went to the university), I never knew when was his school exams, monthly exams and for an example he would never returned home telling me the next day would be a special school holiday and worst still on the last day of 2009 first school semester, the morning when I sent him to school I saw all students were wearing sport wears but he was the only one who reached school with regular school uniform.

Parents (but may be some parents who were closer to the school authority knew it ahead) were never informed that there would be such superior and inferior classification in a new coming year, despite in students’ report cards without grading any average mark but in an actual fact the form teachers all knew who were number 1 to numbers last. In another sense, I felt cheated by the school authority of such segregation which made me felt like to retaliate. So I told my son, "Oh ya! There is no such segregation?! Unless No. 1 in your No. last class scored his or her average as equal or higher than the No. 1 in No.1 class!"

So for past two weeks I chose to drop off my son but ran away as fast as possible to avoid having any pleasantry with other parents, I’m gonna make no friend out of them, I am escaping reality now. So every morning on my way to school I would give lecture to my son, “Son! My dear poor son! Modern life is too tough, in mommy’s kampong days, science 1 and science 2 but made no different! If I knew your days would be different I would never get married to bear offspring to make you suffer! So young yet have to learn what is called survival of fitness! So young you all start to compete! Hey, your maturity which is at least 3 years younger than your smart classmates, you still want to play alphabet blocks while others already know how to play all kinds of politics!”

Most parents have such mentality of sending kids to school in hope that one of the future days their kids would become somebody. I realise now that “become somebody” culture already begin to practice since their young days of school, actually it is introduced by us adults who wanted “face”, who implemented such competitions to children and kids are losing their childhood by hopping from one tuition to another, by right they should happily chase butterflies and grasshoppers in the field. If kids didn’t score well in school, in certain extend that I knew of some parents with smarter kids would mock and look down on both the little losers and their moms.

Now I got a little loser at home, finally I understand why my sister who could never hold her head high as she got three immature mediocre loser kids when they were young, things immediately changed when her kids reached their maturity, that’s the time they only began to know what is called studying. With GPA 4 points from upper six results, followed by her daughter won the scholarship for medical studies, and her little boy actually smartest of all now only begin to heat up his oil. I could see her head holding up a bit these days after her little loser kids’ metamorphosis, I thought these days I could hear those snobbish aggressive moms teeth were grinding. I remember she told me she consulted many friends of hers regarding medical studies information for her kids, they would “kindly advice her” to send her daughter to study nursing and some would tell her subtly that doctor is not a good profession yet themselves are doctors and they would send all their children to study medicine! From what she told me, I could tell that in her friends’ eyes, they all thought my sisters’ kids were stupid and typical losers. The problem was if my sister got three “loser-look” kids and she herself was behaving and acting as a loser too, that’s why her friends could be so rude or sarcastic from the ways they talked to her!

Winner-kids who always scored very well in their studies are usually grew much mature than those loser-kids. The precedent already acted and talked like adults that shocked me in awe, yet the little losers that I knew of immersed half of their consciousness still in subconscious realm. In order to chase up academic works the children’s maturity got to be push to an extreme to become “Just a little kid yet a big devil mind” and worst still they would carry that kind of “I am the best” superior arrogant altitude into adulthood and further on into their professional practise, they would never give face to their subordinates and would treat inferior beings as their slaves instead.

I would advice and caution those natural beauties, smart cookies and talents, never to laugh and mock at others’ inferiorities (in short, you shouldn’t make nasty inhumane remark as you never know inferiors’ difficulties and situations. Beware of revenge reaches your doorsteps in your descendent to let you learn that you can’t control life even you are a genius, believe or not it’s up to you!) remind you that such very famous world famous political premier who was always scored number one yet he couldn’t change the fate that he got defected grandsons!

Someone told me that when the school reunion happened, as they were losers once so what they did by then were showing who got most money to press those top students in their class down to the drain so that they would feel better, these rich men told me because they didn’t like the arrogant behaviours of those smart students, “we were poor we had to tap rubber and plucked peppers, those smart ones only studies and went tuitions. We didn’t have money, by staying in kampong, it spent us an hour to ride to school in the morning and another hour to ride home, what was waiting for us on the table was only rice, bamboo shoot or salted fish. After eating we had to run to the garden to weed or to plant vegetables, so when we got that kind of “American time” to study? We were actually not stupid but we didn’t have choice to born into better and richer families, so to proof that we are actually not stupid, that’s why now we can earn more money than those top students!”

Immature kids are the natural little losers in school when they were young. What I would give words to those lose-face moms is: Don’t lose your fighting spirit, as a teacher for over 20 years before, I witnessed so many little losers became somebody now. I always told my students, you don’t need to be the best students when you were young, but you have to be the best students with Summa Cum Laude when you graduated from the university. Good results in your university level studies path your professional life, be a real number 1 without politics, from there then you got all the confidents in your specialised field, so you don’t need to waste your energy to attack and say something nasty to your rivals or seeking for assurance in your professional fields by showing off.

There is a piano teacher in an oil town now whenever there was a new student approaching her; she would ask her student, “Do you know who I am?” The problem was some of her newly accpeted students never knew who she was, so after several times of such questions, those students eventually thought she was nobody when they didn’t improve much in their pianos. Similarly there was another retired piano teacher whose student was selected by examiners to study in Royal School of Music with offered scholarship, when the news got released, people approached her, “I never know that you are a graduate from overseas and surely you can teach piano! Very sorry to tell you that I heard some piano teachers said that you can’t play piano so they told me how can you teach piano?”

Also there was another real case of an always No.1, she went on to an Australian university studying account, after graduated she worked in PW, then another “loser” friend in No.1’s eyes also proceeded on to study account but in NZ, such loser however added on IT as another major, when the loser graduated, she immediately landed a job in C. Then No. 1 still wanted to proof that she is No.1, so she told her friends that that her company PW was a lot better than “loser’s” C company, but after a year later ended PWC merged! A real joke right? With two majors, in a realistic world now the loser somehow won a better prospect and is now a manager in PWC.

In a real world, living in any modern city, having humble outlook, people would tend to ignore and looking down at you, if ones wanted to act arrogant make sure they could produce the great achievements to suit such prima donna altitudes to assure continuous fames and winning opportunities.

Also in modern cities, there are a lot of con men and con women camouflaged with great professional outlook, driving Mercedes and carrying LV bags, with their business set up portrayed supposedly professionals’ establishments but actually they didn’t even graduate form 5 or even earn any diploma in any of their studies, in certain cases I witnessed ones claimed to have PhDs yet they don’t even have any bachelor degree. In some extend they would use weasel claims to fool their potential customers and attract their clients to promote themselves in Churches or associations (as Church goers easily believe the ones who went up on stage to witness won’t tell lies), they would say they are registered therapists from certain countries yet in an actual fact they never even graduated with any degree yet they would dare to witness to thousand of congregations of how difficult they were through first year of the university, 50% got eliminated and then the second year only 30% students remained, but they would never mention the third and the fourth year. They are so many blunt listeners due to their limited exposures, cultivations and education in our country.

In short, what is the use if you were the top students but you are not critical listeners and sharp enough to be creative and innovative in your professional practice so ones have to use their mouths to accentuate their profiles? I got an ex-classmate who is now the highest income amongst old peers, he is a much demanded drilling consultant engineer and his childhood had to spend on weeding and gardening while others of his peers could be top students, acting arrogant and never touched their fingers on a straw before. He told me he actually didn’t learn much from the university level of what his work demands now. That means his work requires on his inert abilities, instinct, talents and field experience, he did his own research and studies to figure out things himself, how to beat the nature (acquired probably when he was young when beating the bushes and weeds), how and where to drill a big hole underground, his designs, budget, authority and words could cost a havoc if his subordinates missed a single beat but in reverse, there would be black gold gushing up from underground.

I feel better now after deep thoughts and put my scope into future instead, so I think being a little loser kid’s mom is just a temporary matter! When a kitty just learning how to catch a rat, don’t count how many or how big the rats it caught. As you never know its potential when it grows into a big cat!